I don’t use the wipes in the bathroom. It is therefore not my job to know that you have used them all, or to replace them. Take care of it!
Dear Children (again),
Why do bathroom emergencies only happen when I am in the shower?
Wet and Annoyed
While I am most appreciative of your taking out the garbage, do you think it would be possible to EVER replace the bag?
Putting you on notice,
Your Wife (For now!!!)
Dear Chick who Took My Old Job,
No, I will not help you train the person who is replacing you. It has been a year. Get with the program!
Not a Pushover
You snagged a nail on your paw. This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t think the giant German shepherd next door wanted to play with you. Stop being so pathetic and for the love of Lassie, please stop licking it all the live long day.
The Sound of Licking Makes Me Gag
After all we’ve been through, it would be a shame to get rid of you because you’ve made the basement your personal extra large litter box.
Poop Scooper Extraordinaire
Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Please stop advertising, preparing and selling your cookies and creme donut. I cannot resist its evil charms.
My Belly Resembles Donut Dough