No matter what, three weeks from today there will be babies. This isn’t to say that they won’t come sooner, but we are scheduled to deliver 3 weeks from today. I don’t know, a 3 week timeline is sort of panic inducing especially given that they currently don’t have a place to sleep here. 3 weeks. Three mother effing weeks. These are numbers I cannot comprehend.
Last week’s sonogram revealed that Miss M has lodged her butt in to my pelvis and is still most definitely breech. Gus is transverse, with his head resting on Molly’s little bum. It doesn’t seem as though anyone is going to move anytime soon, and so a C-section will be in my future, and even though I will get to avoid labor and Pitocin and all of those funsies, we are still talking about major abdominal surgery for which I am not overly thrilled. Nope. Not thrilled one single bit.
My anxiety in general is sort of kicked in to high gear though, so don’t worry, I am not ONLY stressing about surgery. Nope! Not at all! Why just the other day I grilled a friend of mine, as Cait was getting ready to spend the night there, on where her smoke and carbon monoxide detectors were. I needed to know. I’ve clearly lost my mind.
You probably would too at this point in the game though, right? Everything is large. Everything hurts. Our back room is stripped to the studs and who knows if it will be back together in time. I’m starving all the time and eating constantly, but all of the eating makes me poop. And pooping is not fun right now…not that it’s fun when you aren’t carrying 12 pounds of baby, but logistically, it’s just a nightmare. Hannah is stressed about the impending doom of babies and is more difficult than she has ever been, and trust me, she is difficult by nature. My butt is sore from sitting on it all the time, yet when I try to turn in any way, babies get lodged under hips and ribs.
It’s hard not to feel like everything sucks at this point in time, hard not to feel like I am so done, can we just get this over with already, but at the same time if we get it over with, then what. NO really, tell me…THEN WHAT. Then we have babies, and well, then I can start this little panic attack all over again.
I’ve added quite a few photos to my Belly Shots in Random Bathrooms portfolio this week. One is even my naked belly which I have never ever done before, but at this point in the game, when I’ve given up on hair and makeup, I basically have no shame. Besides, I will never have this chance again. The belly really is marvelous. Here it is in all of its glory at Week 34: