The conversation, clearly, was inevitable though I don’t think that Hub thought it would come so soon. Liv is quickly outgrowing her 0-3month clothing and I’ve been removing it from her bureau. “Here’s the question”, I said to Hub, “Keep the clothes? Or donate them??” He kind of gave me a blank stare and then threw the question back at me. “What do YOU want to do?”
I want one more.
Not, like, tomorrow or anything.
Growing up, I always said that I wanted to have 4 children. I don’t know why I settled on that number, perhaps because my mother always said she’d wanted 4, or maybe because each of my grandmothers had 4. In any case, the number was set in stone for me. I had a really hard pregnancy with Bud and was terrified when I got pregnant with Lucy just 9 months after he was born. My pregnancy with her was a breeze, but after my labor I said never again. Cut to 3 years later and here we are after having another miserable pregnancy, contemplating yet another.
Are we nuts?
I have 2 reasons for not wanting another:
• I don’t think I could handle another stressful and uncomfortable pregnancy (though I think this could be remedied if I lost, say, 50lbs)
• I don’t want any more babies after I am 35 and we’d be looking at trying again when I am 33/34 (OMG, I am almost 30)
Hub’s reasons for not wanting more:
• He doesn’t like the person I become when I am pregnant. (I have to give him that one)
• Based on the way that Lucy is handling not being the baby anymore, he doesn’t know how she, or Liv would take it.
• He doesn’t necessarily want another boy; he likes that his and Bud’s bond is a unique one.
• We would more than likely have to move.
• It would be harder to do fun family stuff/vacations with 4 (but not that much harder, right?)
We share our reasons for wanting another:
• ZOMG!! Baby!!
• We like the idea of our kids growing up in a large family.
• We really enjoy our children and another would definitely add to that
• Ok, this one is mine….maybe it will be TWINS!!
We talked some more about it without really making any decisions. Hub stood firm on the fact that he didn’t want any more until Liv was in school. “I’m ok with that”, I told him, “so long as I can get pregnant in the 6-9 months BEFORE she goes off to school.” He smiled and told me “Fine….” As if exasperated, but I know he wants one as much as I do.
I suppose time will tell though. 4 years is a long time. What would you do?