I’ve been avoiding posting. Not for any good reason, but mostly because this is my 500th post on this little blog and I didn’t want to mar it with the bad stuff I’ve had going on recently. It’s not been anything that has directly affected me…everyone here is healthy and generally happy, but people close to me are just going through things and it’s getting me down. Without going in to too many details, here are the bullets:
• Good friend’s husband has been diagnosed with a deadly illness…prognosis is 5 years at best.
• Fellow TKD mom with 11yo twins has stage4 L*ngC@ncer that has spread to her brain. Though she is fighting, prognosis is months. And I can’t stop thinking about her girls. Her poor poor girls. (her son and husband too)
• My godmother’s sister—same as above but to a lesser degree. We are hopeful.
• Major financial issues for my parents. Feeling like I am sometimes the grown-up in our relationship. (I know we are all grownups now…but you kow what I mean)
• My brother’s divorce and whether he really is ok.
So like I said, none of these things are happening directly to me, but I have just been so overwhelmed with all of it. People my age die. People my age have their lives fall apart. People who are much older than me still don’t have their shit together. It all just makes me feel fragile and scared and somewhat out of control. SO. That’s where I’ve been.
I am feeling better though. Trying to focus on the good. We’ve donated to TKD Mom’s cause and are trying to set up more donations for her benefit in June. I’m having a good time over at my paying blogging gig. Work is slow. My parents are going to be ok even though I’m not thrilled with their decisions. My brother really is going to be ok; although I don’t know when or if he will stop being bitter. We finally bought a new couch. It will be spring soon and we will be allowed to park in the street. I am, for the first time in my life enjoying exercise and making a commitment to do whatever is in my own control to be healthy and live a long life for my kids.
I guess we will all be ok. For as long as we can be anyway. And then when we’re not, we will deal with it the best way we know how.
I hope this post finds you all ok, in the best way you know how. Thanks for sticking with me through 500 (and more if you read my old blog). Here’s to 500 more!