I’m sort of a private person by nature. Well, I guess that’s not entirely accurate–when I know you, and am comfortable, I will talk your ear off about anything and everything both appropriate and inappropriate. BUT! Even with the people I am the most comfortable with, I’m weird about getting attention. My surprise party for my 30th birthday? Was great. But I was insanely uncomfortable. I am awkward when it comes to reactions–people watching mine or the reaction of others. I hate opening gifts in front of people. I hate any and all surprises. And I really don’t like things being a big deal, especially when it comes to me.
This is causing a minor problem because Ed wants to think of the perfect way to tell everyone in the world about the babies. It’s not good enough to just say “Hey, Sara’s going to have twins!”. He wants there to be a scheme, and a surprise, and a reaction. This makes me beyond uncomfortable. Yesterday, he wanted to drive over to a friend’s house and just knock on the door out of the blue and tell her. I forbade this. For one thing, it was 11am on Sunday. Who knew if she was even dressed? For another, I guess I feel like why are we so special that we deserve you spending time on a reaction for us? That sounds fucked up; maybe I don’t know what I mean. After the forbidding though, I was declared a stick in the mud.
He thinks that because I don’t want to make a big deal about telling people, that I don’t think the babies are a big deal; that maybe I don’t want the babies. This of course is the farthest thing from the truth. This is probably the biggest deal that has ever happened to me. And I am excited. And also, this is the 4th time I’ve done this! We’ve done the big surprise announcements. It’s kind of played out!
Regardless of the reaction people give us, I think that they’re also privately going to think “Holy shit, these crackpots are going to have 5 kids!” and if I see that on their face, then what? THEN WHAT? I’d really just rather not deal with it. I’d rather nonchalantly slip it in to a conversation, or better yet, send a freaking text message. I don’t want bells and whistles.
So anyway, Ed and I are sort of in a thing over this, because he wants to rent billboards, and I would rather just quietly be pregnant and process everything that is happening by myself without having to worry about the great way we are going to tell the next person. He’s been telling people without me, and I think that is just fantastic. I had Eddie tell my mom over the phone. I texted my brother to tell him. This is all fine with me.
I suppose that soon enough it won’t matter anyway. The babies will be quite obvious, first by their presence in my belly and then by their presence here in the world. And really, I should just drop this, and focus my efforts on worrying about other things like complications and c-sections and the NICU.
I don’t know. I can’t even think of a good way to end this post. So how about this–did any of you go all out in telling your family and friends about your pregnancies? Am I being irrational? Should Ed cut me some slack?