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When they were new

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It’s not a secret that my time in the hospital after the twins were born was not a happy one. They were separated; Mol with me and Gus in special care. Nobody would talk to me, and when they did, all of the information conflicted. I had horrible guilt for spending so much time with Molly, using her to build up my milk supply, while Gus was physically unable to eat. The entire time I was in the hospital, I held them together exactly twice–once, right after birth and once when a nurse who acted like she was doing me a favor let me wheel Mol in to special care to be with Gus and me. I’m still not over it.  I still don’t think I’m ready to talk or even write about how bad of an experience it was for me regardless of the fact that my babies are 100% fine, happy and healthy 7-month-olds today. Hell, I’m still not over my experience with Caitlyn, and that was more than 8 years ago. So.

Anyway, with that all being said, when the link to the hospital photos was emailed to me, I couldn’t bring myself to actually look at any of them. I didn’t want to remember the hospital stay at all.  Time has passed though, and as they get closer to a year old, and I get closer to maybe putting baby books together for them, I decided to figure out how to log in and see my babies as they were then.

It still hurts a little bit to look, if I’m being honest. But I did enjoy seeing their wrinkly 6lb baby faces and remembering what strangers they were then. I didn’t know them, but when I look at those wee faces, I can see glimpses of them now; how they were already SO themselves, even if I didn’t know it.

So, anyway, after 7.5 months, here are the babies’ first photos:

Molly Olivia

March 1, 2013


6lbs 2oz

Newborn Mol mol newborn 1

mol newborn 2 Mol Newborn 3

Angus Westley

March 1, 2013


6lbs 13 oz

Gus Newborn Gus Newborn 1 Gus Newborn 2 Gus Newborn 3

4 responses »

  1. I’m sorry their first hours were horrible, but so glad they’re yours forever!

  2. Wow! I can totally see what you’re talking about–they are already themselves. I love Gus’s suspicious face! And I had forgotten Molly’s middle name. I think I would forever be calling her Molly-O if I were you (not saying you SHOULD, just that I would). 🙂

    I’m sorry it was such a rough time. I hope that someday you will be able to look back without so much of the pain. And I am so thankful that they are healthy and happy and thriving now!

  3. They were, and still are, simply beautiful.

  4. Oh, they’re darling! I love the one of Molly on her tummy and my favorite of Gus is with his little tongue out.

    They are just so precious and I adore their names.

    Congrats again!


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