Last summer after already being in a really good place weight wise thanks to the famous Twin Pregnancy Followed by Twin Nursing Diet, as well as seeing the results Ed had in following one of those fad type (though in his case totally done with help from a doctor) candida diets, I was motivated to do more and to get myself looking and feeling mighty fine. I was armed with Ed’s booklet but it turned out that I didn’t need to use it anyway. I eliminated gluten and dairy completely from my diet and honest to Pete, whoever that guy is anyway, the weight melted off.
It wasn’t just the weight though. I felt phenomenal. I literally jumped out of bed at 5:30 every morning and went downstairs to work before the babies woke up for the day. I had tons of energy; I didn’t even want my coffee. My skin was glowing, my hair looked good, and I bought size 18 jeans for the first time since 2005. People stopped me to tell me that they could tell, and that made things even better. It was awesome.
Except for when it wasn’t. As good as I felt, I really missed food. I like food, like, really a lot, and this is the reason that I’m not one of those gluten and dairy free evangelists. I missed pizza. And bread and butter. I’d found really good gluten and dairy free sweet substitutions, but the savory good stuff was hard for me. So, I don’t know, every other weekend or so, I would cheat. I would have a slice of pizza. Or a chili dog. Or whatever, really. And then I would spend the next day and a half in the bathroom, practically tethered to the toilet, which should have been enough proof that there was a problem with putting these things in to my body, but, eh.
Everything sort of went off the rails as we took our vacations this summer. I wanted to eat like a “normal person” so I worked on building my tolerance back up so I could eat junk throughout both of our trips without say, pooping my pants. My diet never recovered and I’ve spent the last 5 months saying that I’m going to get back in to it, and not doing it. I feel terrible, I’ve put weight back on and once again my skin is a mess.
I’m not exactly sure what my problem is, or why I can’t break the cycle, especially because I’ve seen the results. With dieting in the past, the results were so slow and I would lose hope before I’d even given things a chance. The gluten/dairy free thing was less of a diet and more of a lifestyle change. I’m struggling with why in the world I would choose to eat (tasty tasty) crap and feel terrible when I know what there is potential for.
I don’t really have a way of tying this together or closing this post. I’m not even sure that this post serves a purpose other than me working things out of my screwed up mind. I do know that I need to pull my head out of my ass and do something. I guess I just need to get myself back to a place where I’m ready to commit to something. Whatever that something might be.