Last summer after already being in a really good place weight wise thanks to the famous Twin Pregnancy Followed by Twin Nursing Diet, as well as seeing the results Ed had in following one of those fad type (though in his case totally done with help from a doctor) candida diets, I was motivated to do more and to get myself looking and feeling mighty fine. I was armed with Ed’s booklet but it turned out that I didn’t need to use it anyway. I eliminated gluten and dairy completely from my diet and honest to Pete, whoever that guy is anyway, the weight melted off.
It wasn’t just the weight though. I felt phenomenal. I literally jumped out of bed at 5:30 every morning and went downstairs to work before the babies woke up for the day. I had tons of energy; I didn’t even want my coffee. My skin was glowing, my hair looked good, and I bought size 18 jeans for the first time since 2005. People stopped me to tell me that they could tell, and that made things even better. It was awesome.
Except for when it wasn’t. As good as I felt, I really missed food. I like food, like, really a lot, and this is the reason that I’m not one of those gluten and dairy free evangelists. I missed pizza. And bread and butter. I’d found really good gluten and dairy free sweet substitutions, but the savory good stuff was hard for me. So, I don’t know, every other weekend or so, I would cheat. I would have a slice of pizza. Or a chili dog. Or whatever, really. And then I would spend the next day and a half in the bathroom, practically tethered to the toilet, which should have been enough proof that there was a problem with putting these things in to my body, but, eh.
Everything sort of went off the rails as we took our vacations this summer. I wanted to eat like a “normal person” so I worked on building my tolerance back up so I could eat junk throughout both of our trips without say, pooping my pants. My diet never recovered and I’ve spent the last 5 months saying that I’m going to get back in to it, and not doing it. I feel terrible, I’ve put weight back on and once again my skin is a mess.
I’m not exactly sure what my problem is, or why I can’t break the cycle, especially because I’ve seen the results. With dieting in the past, the results were so slow and I would lose hope before I’d even given things a chance. The gluten/dairy free thing was less of a diet and more of a lifestyle change. I’m struggling with why in the world I would choose to eat (tasty tasty) crap and feel terrible when I know what there is potential for.
I don’t really have a way of tying this together or closing this post. I’m not even sure that this post serves a purpose other than me working things out of my screwed up mind. I do know that I need to pull my head out of my ass and do something. I guess I just need to get myself back to a place where I’m ready to commit to something. Whatever that something might be.
I sympathize with the mental block of not wanting to be one of those gluten-free douchebags who makes a big deal out of their food. I haven’t eaten (much) gluten for a while now, but it took YEARS before I felt like it was part of my identity, like just something I DO, no big. I just think it takes a while. And the tolerance thing is a total kick in the junk. So unfair.
That being said, YAY HEALTHKICK!!!!!
Oh man, I’ve become such a believer in the removal of dairy from our diets. Last year this time, I was the queen of creamy and cheesy, but I feel so much better without and you’re right about the weight melting off as a result! Yay you!
As a fellow lover of food (and science), I just can’t get into the whole gluten / dairy free thing, but I totally cheer on people who do it and love it. The skin and hair and energy thing all make it sound really, really tempting, but unfortunately, so do cheeseburgers. I was doing awesome with exercise and reasonably healthy food decisions a year ago, but have also lost my groove and don’t know how to get it back. Sometimes with two little ones I feel like just making it through is enough to worry about. I can’t even comprehend 5. So I guess what I’m saying is that I hope you figure out how to get back to the right mindset to commit, but if you don’t, I hope you don’t beat yourself up about it – you have a lot going on right now! And if you do, please share what worked for you because I think it would help motivate my lazy ass.
Seeing as you have had issues with your thyroid and have to take meds, perhaps you could try the auto immune protocol diet (AIP). To be honest, it’s probably not that dissimilar to what you had been doing but there are other things to remove from the diet to help heal the gut and improve your health – for example: nightshades, legumes, nut oils. I did it for 30 days, I lost 14lbs and my autoimmune condition really improved markedly… but I, like you, love to eat and I couldn’t maintain it. Perhaps if I had kept it up for 120 days, I could have gotten to the point of being able to reinstate things one by one and heal myself inside out.
Commitment is required but more so is determination to be prepared, organised, pre-planned and willing to give up some things that feel heartbreaking at the time (e.g. going out to eat with family and friends and not really being able to eat a thing). Will power really has so little to do with it when you are 100% ready to rock, no matter what.
Happy to talk to you about it anytime sister.
Love & hugs.
BTW: Open Diary is closing down in a week if you didn’t hear.
Commitment and a willingness to deny myself tasty tasty bits are two traits I definitely lack. I’ve been doing real, committed, exercise for the last 4 months and in that regard am probably healthier/stronger than I’ve been in many years, but I have not lost a single pound. Apparently it helps to change your habits and eat better, something I cannot do for any length of time. Sigh.