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Questions, Questions

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1. I need a good eye cream. The bags and circles under my eyes are unbearable. Does anyone have any suggestions? I’d like to look so young and vibrant that people would think I was the baby sitter rather than the tired, tired mommy.

2. As far as skin goes in general, mine really sucks right now. My complexion has gone down the toilet since I had Cait, and more so since I went off the pill. While the acne is a small price to pay for the absence of migraines and severe hormonal fluctuation and actually having a sex life (I often joked that the pill didn’t work by stopping me from ovulating, it just plain turned me off to doing it..), something really needs to be done here. I tried Proactiv, no go. I’ve been using this antibacterial face bar and that’s not working either. Has anyone found the secret to a beautiful complexion? This week I’m trying the “chocolate gives you zits” theory and I’m not eating any. Which sucks. And it’s only 2:00 PM on Monday. Please, tell me what to do oh wise women of the blogosphere.

3. I also need a diet that works if you have one. I can’t stomach (haha pun absolutely intended) the feeling of being hungry. I hate not eating bread. I hate limiting myself in general. I considered for a brief second trying that new Alli supplement….that is until I read that if you should by some chance over indulge in fatty foods, an oily substance will leak out of your A-hole. I even told myself that the prospect of a greasy rectum would be enough of a deterrent to not eat any fat at all. Then I took a long hard look at myself (that means I thought about my impulsive personality for about 2 seconds) and decided that unless I was committed to ruining pants and unders because they most definitely would have grease stains, this was probably not a good idea. (BUT IT’S FDA APPROVED!!!) So anyway, if anyone has a plan that meets the criteria of being able to consume bread, never being hungry, and few limits in general, plus the absence of oily anus, I would sure love to hear about it.

**On a side note, I was quite proud of myself for only having a salad for lunch, with grilled chicken as opposed to crispy chicken. That is until I discovered that the dressing alone had 200 calories in it. Why can’t everything just be easy?!?!?! (ok, I just checked and the salad itself was 90 calories and the chicken was 120, so a 440 calorie lunch…not too bad I guess. All I had for breakfast was reduced sugar oatmeal and black coffee—90 calories)

4. I need to know why my button and zipper on these capris is on the wrong side. Like, the button is on the left. I posed this question to my co-workers. Someone thought that maybe they were actually MAN-pris, or capris for men, but I assured her they were women’s. Then I was asked if maybe I bought them in Canada…apparently Canada has some backward zipper policy that I am unaware of. In any case, I didn’t cross the border to get some capris. I bought them right here, at JC Penny in the “misses” section.

5. Why oh why oh why do men insist on showing their feet off in their “mandals”. I hate feet in general, but man feet are the worst. I beg all men to please keep their feet sheathed in their socks.

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