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Open Letters–Feel Free to Add Your Gripe

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Thought of the Day: Going to a 10:05 movie on a work night is an especially bad idea when you are with your boss. It makes it pretty hard to call in or show up late the next day.

Anyhoooo, I’m working on a retrospective entry about how Ed and I met. It.Is.Exhausting. So I thought I’d do an open letter post—I’ve been seeing them around and they’re kind of fun. So here it goes.

_________________________________________________

Dear Target,
Why did you only have pink snow pants and purple coats? And why didn’t you have any snow pants for boys? Most importantly, how did I not buy what I needed and still spend $60?

Respectfully,
Sara

Dear Office Politics,
YOU SUCK!!

Signed,
SLB

Dear Honey,
Thank you for making an effort to clean up the kitchen so that we could have dinner together at the kitchen table. You making family time a priority means a lot to me.

I love you,
ME.

Dear Jack-Ass Customer,
It really makes no difference that your neighbor Lewis’s taxes went down. No difference at all. We’ll pay what we are billed. Maybe Lewis should shut his trap! But please do tell Lewis we said hi!

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Bank Staff

And P.S. we have no reason to know that your neighbor’s name is Lewis.

Dear Eddie and Caitlyn,

Thank you for waking up at 3:30am and 4:30am after Mommy took Tylenol PM. There is nothing like dealing with grumpy toddlers in the middle of the night when Mommy can barely stand up. I love you anyway and enjoyed snuggling you.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy

Dear Underlings at Work,

If we are busy enough where I am doing your job, you should probably do it too. Nothing pisses me off more than DOING YOUR JOB while I can plainly see you slacking. Shape up or ship out, and I mean it!!

Urgently,
Your Boss.

Dear Snails—
Stop screwing. We don’t want any baby snails. Gary and Larry my ass.

I hate you,
Sara

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