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Sarcasm and Self Pity Must Make for a Good Post

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I’m tired and crabby. I even went for a walk on my lunch break ( I KNOW, RIGHT???) to alleviate the crabby, and it did not help. I did feel great while I was doing it though; I’m just right back where I started from.

I think there is a honeymoon phase in pregnancy—you are done being sick and you feel pretty good. I am so done with that phase, if it ever existed. I’m sore, and hot and moderately miserable thanks to the 24-hour heartburn that seems to exist even with the 2 pepcid I take per day. I asked Hub to turn on the AC around 3AM, and he very politely suggested that I crack a window. It was 40 degrees outside. I was roasting though—I sure can’t wait for the summer!! What’s really great is the way my hips give out at odd intervals. This has happened during both of my previous pregnancies as well. Why don’t I think of these things before I go and get knocked up.

Someone just told me not to have a fourth baby. Why? Because her sister had a 4th and has regretted it every day since. Nice. Thank you so much for sharing; I do appreciate your opinion.

And please stop telling me “Oh, there will be more kids than adults! HA HA HA!” Fools. We have a 3rd adult in our house for one thing (well. I guess I’d count FIL as .5 adult—but whatev), and for another, just STFU. Seriously.

And can you believe my eye doctor wants to reschedule since I’m pregnant. My eyes are SCREWY right now. But apparently, it could be pregnancy related.

Speaking of pregnancy related, I think I have carpal tunnel. I think that is what caused my wrist to give out and dump a whole pot of boiling water on my other hand. Yet I type away.

And also–I wnet through all of our baby clothes this weekend. Up until then it completely escaped me that I gave all of our newborn baby girl clothes away. PHRICK!

And finally, it seems I am hit in the face with all of the things can go wrong in pregnancy on a daily basis, via the internet. I happened to google the name we are considering, 1st and middle, and the very first thing that came up was a baby who was stillborn, and her entire story, complete with photos of her posed with family members. It was so incredibly tragic and I cried for this poor family, but it also creeped me the hell out. I totally respect the family’s right, and they did what they needed to do to get through it, but I wish I never saw it.

And since we’re jumping around here in a ridiculous fashion, do you know how much it’s going to cost us to do our upstairs? Do you also know how hard it will be for us to get a loan, since for construction people only want to lend you a portion of what they think your property will be worth after it’s complete? It’s starting to look like we’ll be hiring someone to do the framing, and will probably do the rest ourselves. How fun does that sound?? With preschoolers and a newborn! I can’t wait!!

And finally, Hub’s trip to California in the fall has been extended to be about 5 days long. The bride wants him out there by the Thursday before the wedding. The wedding is on Sunday people. We are talking 5 days of me home alone with 3 kids. My mother has offered to come and help me. I’m not sure which prospect is worse?

I need some ice cream.

15 responses »

  1. The ending of this post, while tragic, is also hilarious. Also I am already boiling hot all the time and Torsten never is. At least when I’m pregnant I’ll have a trump card.

  2. Yeah, I know TONS of people who regret that fourth baby, WHAT THE FUCK? Jesus H. people.All new girl clothes! YAY!

  3. Tessie, I know, right!!! People sure are stupid.

  4. It DOES make for a good post!People always say crap when anyone has more than two kids. WHY? When I was pregnant with Henry, some guy said, “Just don’t have six, I’ll tell you that right now.” Then he told me a long story of how he and his wife find their six kids a living hell. Aw! Sweet!Also, Paul and I have now not only outnumbered ourselves, we’ve outnumbered our hands. BIG DEAL. People used to do this ALL THE TIME, like two or three generations ago.

  5. Yes yes, get some ice cream. We went and had Ben&Jerry’s tonight. I highly recommend it. ;)Oh, I second the YEAH for new girl clothes! I’ve considered selling Zachariah’s baby clothes (as much as I love everything) just so I can shop for new baby clothes next time. Hmm, maybe.

  6. My sister doesn’t regret her fourth baby. . . so maybe it’s just perspective.Also, her opinion going from one to two was much harder than going from two to three. So, I think you’ll do great!

  7. I agree with Jess; this post is hilarious.I never understand why people always feel the need to share worst-case scenarios with people who are experiencing a happy event in their lives. Jerks.

  8. sounds like you’re having a great time!I need new glasses but I have to wait too – pregnancy can change the pressure in your eyes blah blah blah. all I know is that i have headaches and can’t drive at night darn itI don’t understand the doom and gloom “Oh you’ll hate having 4!!!”. why do people assume anyone cares what they think about how many kids one should have? and I’ll totally make you some of those little baby shoes to help restock your baby wardrobe!

  9. You are all SO right!! People are just a-holes. Swistle- how charming! I should point out that the girl who said this is known for talking out of her ass and also has no kids of her own. Ass.Fana- the hidden purpose of this post was to score baby shoes. lol : )

  10. I loved this post… I’m always up for a series of random rants!Why do people feel the need to spew their own miserable experiences on a pregnant woman? When I was pregnant with Maggie, I heard story after story about “surprise” third children being rebels and causing parents grief. Good lord, people, can’t you see that I’m in an IRREVERSIBLE situation here? Happy thoughts ONLY, thank you very much.And yes, doing your reno sounds super-fun! Everything to do with renos is more expensive than it seems it should be. We need a new fence around our pool and even the crappiest/ugliest option is $2000, and that’s if we do it ourselves!

  11. Who the phricking hell REGRETS having a child. Even worse, who the phricking hell REGRETS having a child and then TELLS people about it?Where are these moe-rons from? Jupiter? GoodHolyGrief.Also, just in case it might make you feel better. Third baby? And its a girl? AND you get to buy all new newborn clothes? Even with the aches and pains and screwy vision, I so want to be you.

  12. Oh the eyes during pregnancy are a pain~I was diagnosed with an astigmatism while pregnant with the twins (you know, our attempt at a 3rd child) and I still have it. Was so happy to get a prescription that allowed me to see correctly! Hope today gets better for you.

  13. Personally, your random posts are my favorites.It’s true about the eye thing. I couldn’t wear my contacts for two of my pregnancies. Don’t you just want to tell people you plan to have as many children as possible? I do, just to SHUT THEM UP.

  14. I totally agree about the honeymoon phase of pregnancy. The middle three months of pregnancy with Adelay were blissful. With Eli, it was a shorter-lived honeymoon, maybe four to six weeks in there between sickness, knee surgery, and bedrest. But still, there was that happy time when my hips weren’t giving out (yes, mine do that too!) and the heartburn was tolerable and I wasn’t aching and contracting every time I walked more than five steps.Sorry you’ve moved beyond the good point! Maybe just occupy yourself with perusing baby girl clothes between now and August? Seriously, I am JEALOUS! I’m just gonna say right now that I am hoping our next baby, whenever that happens, is a girl. Girl stuff is so fun.And also: Who the bloody h TELLS people that they regret having one of their children? “Ah, if only we could take back that last one and get our money back!”

  15. so, your eyes actually swell when you are pregnant, and they wont return to normal until about 3 months after delivery. my vision always changes during pregnancy


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