If I had to guess, I would say that I spend about 50% of my time worrying. Worrying that something will happen to one or both of the babies, that one or both of them will have medical issues, about c-sections and weight gain, about how bringing 2 more babies in to this family might somehow screw the other kids up. You name it, and I have worried about it, and it’s not something that I can turn off. I’ve been fairly nonchalant about pregnancy in the past, but this time? This time I have anxiety and stress.
A lot of it, I think, stems from having to wait for what seems like a long time in between my appointments. By the time I see my OB next week, it will have been 5 weeks since my initial appointment, and 4 weeks since we got the big twin news. I need to be able to hear heartbeats, is what I’m saying. Not that I have any reason to feel like there is a problem. My belly is growing, I was ridiculously sick up until a few days ago, and I must wear a bra 24/7 because my boobs are so sore, and weigh about 75lbs each. I just need assurance, I guess, in the form of 2 thundering heartbeats.
But yeah, the last few days, food has finally tasted good again. Although I’ve had a few minor nausea spells, I’ve felt pretty well most of the time. Aside from exhaustion, I’d say I feel good, even.
My blood test results came back last week, and I panicked when seeing that my hCG levels were over 356k, well above the normal range listed within the results. This was until I realized that “normal” is equivalent to singleton pregnancy, and OH YEAH! There’s 2 babies in there.
On Saturday, I dug out and washed my maternity clothes. We were fairly certain we were done having babies, so I didn’t save much, but I have 2 pairs of jeans, a skirt, a dress and several tees. Although the jeans fit just fine, they are not as comfortable as I remembered. It must be the way I am carrying the twins, because that “under the belly” band that I have been so fond of? Was not my friend. It actually sort of hurt. It’s good that I lost weight a while back, because my regular jeans are actually still ok. Snug, but not uncomfortably so, unless I wear them for hours on end. I think the rubber band trick will let me wear them for a bit longer too. I did buy quite a few things at Old Navy online last week too. Fall sweaters and tunics. A pair of leggings. And, ok, I bought the babies their first gift. This will work for boys or girls, I think. I am in LOVE!
I have had strong feelings that both babies are boys for a while though, but Hannah insists that it is one of each. She told me I was pregnant before I was. She told me there were 2 babies. I might believe her. (Her knowing things is something I want to talk about another time, as an aside.) We’ll see though. We are in the beginning stages of discussing names though which is always fun. I’ve liked Henry for a while, and Ed was so so on it. My mother telling me that she hated it, it was too old fashioned and that it was too “english-y” has totally clenched the fact that if there is a boy, he will be Henry. Ed has shot down both of my girl suggestions so far, Georgia (a southern stripper, he says) and Jane/Janie (“Like Janie’s got a gun?? NO.”) but, I have between 25 and30 more weeks to wear him down, so we will see. Saying no to Georgia hurt though. I felt the same way I felt when I heard “Hannah” and knew it was our baby’s name. I could picture Henry and Georgia. It may be my Hill to Die on name. For the record, he likes Olivia and Abby. (I love Olivia, but if you pair O as a first initial with our last name…well..I just can’t get past what it does.)
Anyway, generally speaking, things are good. Better than good even, if I could just relax. 10 weeks is a good place to be. I have no real food aversions (though the amount of hummus I ate early on has maybe ruined that for me) and no big cravings yet. Ok, I’ve eaten Arby’s more times than I’d like to admit.
Yes. Things are good. I’ll end this post with a photo of my 10 week belly. Granted, there is a bit of belly fat involved here, but there is no doubt I have growing babies. BABIES (Yes, Ed and I sleep in the old nursery. We have not removed the old borders. Someday.)