I started writing these weekly updates when I realized there was nothing, and I mean nothing in the way of blogs out there related to twin parenting. I’m realizing that nothing I’m writing would be particularly helpful to anyone, so, FAIL. But it is a nice record for me, so there’s that.
My 4-month appointment last Thursday was interesting to say the least. There was much talking about hip pain and forgetfulness and flu and pertussis vaccines. I got the flu shot, scheduled the pertussis for my next appointment, was assured that I do not have early alzheimers, and got a prescription for a belly brace to alleviate the hip pain. Then she started to listen for the heartbeats.
Baby B was cooperative. She found the healthy heartbeat immediately, and it stayed strong for as long as she kept the doppler on my right side. Baby A proved to be…difficult. She kept catching a trace of the heartbeat, and then it would move. She couldn’t tell if she was still hearing Baby B, or if this was definitely Baby A. Every time she pressed on my belly, A pressed back. We could hear the wiley little thing wiggling in there. Finally, in an odd angle under my left hip, we got a good and solid read on Baby A. I wasn’t nervous because I could feel the movement, and feel it pressing on the doppler. The dr. was on a mission though, I am telling you.
She was less concerned than I would have imagined over my weight gain, or lack there of. I did put on 3lbs since my last appointment, but am still under my pre-pregnancy weight. She thinks the babies are just fine. I am eating around the clock it seems though, and I think I should be gaining more. I guess at this point, I’m hoping the extra weight I was carrying anyway will be enough.
I spent way too much time on Friday going to medical supply stores to find my brace. One place had it, and said they accepted my insurance. When I got there, they did not. The next place said they had it, but they actually had a different one that alleviates vag pressure and not hip pressure, so they sent me to another store. This place had it and accepted my insurance, but my entire insurance company was in a meeting, apparently, and she couldn’t get through. She ended up letting me take the brace, and called me that evening after finally getting through to my insurance company. They covered 80%, so I only had to pay $14 for the illustrious Prenatal Cradle. And it works! It makes my hips feel a whole ton better, though when I completely threw my hip out on Sunday, it was no help at all. That’s ok though. It got me through apple picking over the weekend, and I’m sure it will be helpful as I accompany 60 2nd graders to the pumpkin farm tomorrow.
Ed and I are back on the Melissa discussion, not that we know if either of the babies is a lady baby. Yesterday, he finally said what I knew he’d been thinking–Melissa is the name of his dead sister (she died at birth when he was little), and he wants to use the name to honor his (both deceased) parents. I don’t think I feel strongly enough against the name to compete with that reasoning, though we did have quite a debate about it last night. I was surprised to find that he thinks that I was the one who named the girls–I did suggest each of their names, but he was fully on board. I consider that naming together. And we each chose one of the girls’ middle names. So anyway, he is on the “I name one baby and you name one baby” train, and I just don’t really know if I care anymore. Maybe I should just find an acceptable and somewhat current nickname for Melissa, and be done with it.
In any case, we will have the big reveal and know what the babies are 2 weeks from today, and as much as I really feel at this point like they are both girls, I’m going to try and not think about names at least until then. (Ha. Hahahahaaa.)
Incubation Nation 
Maybe you could make him start saying the name Melissa out loud a certain number of time a day and call one of the babies Melissa when he talks to her. I always found that there were names I liked the *idea* of, but once I said them a few times, I realized I just liked the idea, and not having my baby named that. It might not work, because he sounds like a stubborn one, but it’s worth a shot!
This might be weird, but I’ve actually been thinking about the Melissa thing a lot (since you mentioned it on Twitter). I’m with you, it’s just a perfectly nice name that’s REALLY out of fashion and I wouldn’t want to give it to my baby. But the sister thing…gah. I wouldn’t know what to do.
I do know my MIL thinks it would be weird for her kids to use the name of their dead sister (stillborn at full term twenty-five-ish years ago), so we don’t have this issue. Maybe gently bring up he doesn’t know if that really would honor his parents? I mean, there’s no way to CHECK, so I suppose the honoring is all in the intention and if he intends it to be an honor, it IS, but still. It’s not what my particular in-laws would want.
The funny thing is, my husband’s dead sister was named Rachel, a name I really like and would actually consider using.
These are very good points! Ed’s sister was also stillborn, or lived for a few hours. The details are sketchy. But from what I’ve heard it was Ed’s grandfather who insisted on naming and burying her while his parents were sort of despondent. His parents were both very involved with our kids (his dad lived with us and has been dead just over a year, and his mom died 3 years ago), and I am on board from an honor perspective–they were fantastic grandparents and inlaws. And I guess Melissa is better than Terrance or Michele. Ed learned a year ago that he had a brother who died in 1969 as well, that his parents never named and never spoke of.
I guess what I’m saying is that I think he has a lot riding on this emotionally. And I feel like a jerk debating and vetoing, so I think I’m going to cave.
Mel. Millie. Liss. Lissa. Or make her middle name something that works well as initials — MJ, for example.
I didn’t consider Millie! I thought of Melly, Lissa, Lis etc. but I think I can maybe work with Millie! i kind of love it.
Millie and Lissa are both lovely nicknames. I’m not saying YOU should, at ALL, if you don’t want to, but I know that I would probably cave under that argument. I feel like you have at least one boy in there… can’t wait to hear!
I think his argument is strong, on the basis that it’s hard to argue with that sort of emotional attachment to the name. How does he feel about middle names? For us, our middle names have always been what we used to honor family members. OR, you could give Melissa a middle name that you love and call her by her middle name.