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Places where I routinely get in to fist fights (in my head)

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I like to think that I am an easygoing person.  I am a laid back person by nature.  Dealing with the general public sometimes gives me the rage though, and it is usually in the same few places.  Sometimes it’s intentional on their part and sometimes it’s not, but people should really work harder at not being assholes.

So, where do I get in to these imaginary altercations?  I will tell you!

  1. The Grocery Store: People seem to have no sense of anyone (or anything) except themselves. When I am out and about I am always conscious of staying out of the way, following some general rules, and being mindful of those around me.  Is the aisle super packed? Then I’m going to inch my cart off to the side, grab what I need and keep moving.  I will not, like so many others, angle my cart across the aisle and stop traffic while I grab 250 cans of green beans, send a text message and rifle through my purse.  No I will not.  Similarly, if I cannot find what I am looking for, I will stand back out of the way and scan the shelves until I find it.  Note that I am NOT standing directly in front of the shelves blocking several item while I run my fingers along each row to see if I can find what I am looking for allowing nobody else to grab an item from the shelf.  No, I stay out of the way so that others can do their shopping.
  2. The Tim Horton’s Drive-Thru: Our local coffee shop is on a corner, so there are 2 entrances on 2 different streets.  This results in people entering the drive-thru either straight on from the main entrance, or having to drive around the building and enter the drive-thru from the corner of the building.  I almost always enter from the main entrance and while sometimes there are no cars ahead of me, other times there are 4 or more.  Sometimes when the car in front of me is at the speaker, a car will swing around from the other entrance, and shoot me dirty looks when I don’t let them in.  One person even yelled at me to “take turns!!” like I was in preschool.  Here’s the thing–if I just waited in line for 5 minutes, I am not obligated to take turns when you just got here.  Pipe down!
  3. School Events: My husband and I (and 3 other ladies) run our parent teacher association.  We’ve been involved now for 4 years and are in our 2nd year on the board.  We get that many if not most parents don’t have the flexible schedules we have and cannot be involved in every single activity. Most parents though will donate, or come to a few meetings, or even volunteer for a half hour at some event at some point during the year and are always thankful for all we do as an organization for the kids. There are a few though who complain no matter what the event, no matter what the cost is, no matter what we do.  One parent went on and on to me at an event about what they would have done if they were in charge, and how we could be doing things better.  Please! Please chair an event! Please come to a meeting and give us your ideas! Please! But no, it’s easier to complain obviously.
  4. The Street Exit of the Daycare Parking Lot: There is a 2 lane exit here, one to turn left on to the very busy street, and one to turn right, plus a one lane entrance in to the parking lot from the busy street.  I could tell you how many times I’ve almost been hit (MANY), while waiting to make my left hand turn out in to the busy street because the jackhole turning in from the street takes their own turn too wide and ends up just barely missing me in my CORRECT lane. But what actually makes me mad is how these jackholes actually look at me with pure rage on their faces  as if I am the one in the wrong.  Like I am the one who is in the wrong lane.  This past summer, a man yelled at me from his window “JESUS LEARN TO DRIVE!!” to which I yelled back “I’M IN THE RIGHT LANE, ASSHOLE!!” to no avail (and yes, my kids were in the car).  Last week a “gentleman” actually stopped next to me and stared me down with a hatred in his eyes that I could not believe.  I…well, I didn’t say anything to him. My point though? I’m being punished here, for following the lines and arrows in the parking lot.  And everyone else in the world is stupid.

Where do you get in to imaginary fist fights?

6 responses »

  1. This is awesome. My imaginary fights are mostly at the grocery store. 99% of the time, I do my shopping at 7AM so I can avoid people and their terrible grocery store etiquette. The 1% of the time that I have to mix with the general population, I’m actually that nut job you see muttering under her breath and scowling.

  2. Oh the grocery store…how I loathe the grocery store. Fortunately we have several near us to chose from because I have all but refused to go to the largest one close to our house. No matter the day, no matter the time it is always packed and the people are always rude. I always leave stressed out. So unless it really is the best option or the most convenient option, I will not go there and will opt for a more expensive store every time. Just less stress that way.

  3. I think I wrote this post and sent it to your brain. I am an efficient, kind, considerate shopper at the grocery store, and do not understand how others are so clueless that they are not the only ones. The worst about the grocery store is when a novice takes everything out of their cart onto the belt, then leaves their cart behind them. They plan on taking their two little bags and walking away with the cart blocking me from getting my items on the belt and into bags. Oh no…. Depending on my mood I either push their cart into their behinds, or in a fake sweet voice let them know “Oh honey child, you forgot your little cart!”. Yes, with a fake southern accent.

    In addition to the grocery store, what makes me want to punch people is when there are two turn lanes to go left, and I get in the right one, knowing I plan to turn right at the next right, yet the idiot in the left left turn lane thinks they can go from the far left lane to the right turn lane without any regard for me or the other cars on the road. Idiots. If you want to turn right, don’t get in the friggin left lane. And yes, I will do everything I can to block you from getting in front of me if you try. It makes my day to have you behind me giving me dirty looks.

  4. yes, yes, yes!!! People at the store and on the road can be SO rude! It’s obnoxious.

  5. OMG YES to the grocery store. I automatically pay attention to the world around me and I make sure that I don’t annoy other people with my cart or body (or children). If I see someone else coming along the aisle, I make sure I’m not in their way. Clearly not everyone does this. I don’t find it too bad in Canada (or well, at least in Vancouver) but when we lived in Denmark I routinely wanted to smack people. And they wouldn’t move when you said excuse me, until you’d said it 5 times, at escalating volume. I would always daydream about backing up and then hitting their cart at a dead sprint. I never did it, though. After about a year, I did just start moving their carts myself if they were too rude not to.

  6. At work. With my boss. With my clients. With my team.
    At the gym. With people who do not wash down their sweaty machines and who take up too much time on the thing that I WANT TO USE.
    On Facebook. Just because it’s a dog.


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