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On having older children

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403For Eddie’s first Christmas, way back in 2004, we did a lot of things, thinking “Oh, hey! Maybe we will carry on this tradition for our other children!”. I was already pregnant with Caitlyn at the time, and I had big ambitions for having traditions the kids would remember all their lives. We bought Eddie his own tree that year–one that we could actually plant outside in the spring. Wouldn’t it be great to get all of our kids their own tree for their first Christmas? We could watch them grow in the yard! that tradition didn’t pan out.  We did plant Eddie’s tree, but it died a slow, horrible pine-needle-scattering death, and we never did it again. One of the traditions that did stick though was fresh Christmas pajamas. It’s not a unique tradition by any means, but it is one that I’ve really enjoyed through the years.

Of course, once I had 2 girls, I began matching their jammies. The girls would be in the same pattern and Eddie would sometimes have something similar, and other times something completely different, but decidedly not “matchy”. Naturally, I’ve been pretty excited about Eddie and Gus matching this year. How fun for the brothers to finally match!

Except, no.

Eddie is vehemently against wearing matching pajamas.  In fact, he’d rather not have Christmas pajamas at all, considering that he does not sleep in pajamas, and will really only wear them the one time, and wouldn’t it be kind of a waste of money? Besides, should a 10-year-old (you are not 10 yet, son!) really have matching clothes with a baby? No.  No he should not. Because how embarrassing. And there would be pictures! That I would probably put on the internet! What an outrage!

I just…I mean…GAH, this is frustrating.  I asked him if he would consider doing it just this one time for me and he flat out said no. Honestly, I am the parent, and I could tell him to suck it up and just wear whatever I tell him to, and to smile for the Facebook photos that his friends’ moms will likely see and share with their own kids, because I am the mom, and I am the boss, and I said so. I could. But I do get where he’s coming from. I understand that age 10 is a lot different than the younger kids, and that he has a reputation to protect now.

Let’s be real though; this isn’t about the pajamas.

My very first baby is rapidly growing up, and not in the “how cute, they grow so fast” kind of way. He won’t kiss Ed anymore, and he usually tucks himself in to bed. He doesn’t snuggle up next to me and twirl my hair anymore. He’s joined clubs, and is doing more things on his own and is really turning in to his own person–which is a good thing.  I think we all hope for our kids to be well adjusted, happy and independent kids. I guess I just didn’t realize it would happen so fast. And in case you are wondering, having other babies doesn’t fill the void that’s left upon realizing that your very first baby, well, isn’t a baby anymore.

I have to figure out this new dynamic, the one where my kid is still a kid, but maybe shouldn’t always be treated like one.

And I still haven’t decided about the pajamas.

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2 responses »

  1. I have three girls between the ages of 10 (going on 18) and 6. They humor me at Christmas time, because I insist that they are matching or at least coordinated for the Christmas card and the opening presents pictures. Last year I wanted them to all have red flannel pajamas with black Scottie dogs, and my oldest flat out refused. We compromised on red plaid instead.

    Reply
  2. How about you put Gus in pajamas that match Eddie’s baby pajamas and post the pictures side by side on FB or the blog? No cooperation on his part required.

    My 12 year old is grudgingly going along with Christmas pajamas (“I look like an elf”– he complained of the white and green striped pjs with red trim) but I buy them in the fall and they wear them until it’s time for summer pjs. I just try to get both kids in red and/or green on Christmas morning. It’s sometime a struggle.

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