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Maximum Irritation

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Ugh. I spent a good portion of my weekend fuming and arguing with this woman on Ebay who I bought some clothes from. I was very pleased to have won the auction for Lucy because there were several dresses and several Hello Kitty items, size 5/6. Her description indicated size 5/6, some size 5, and that one pair of capris were a 5 slim. I knew these wouldn’t fit Lucy, but was fine with putting them away. I stalked and won it at the last minute. Including shipping, I paid $50 for these items.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the box to find that the items were not a 5/6 as indicated. In fact, of all the items, 1 was a size 5/6. Aside from the size 5 items she indicated, all the rest were size XS. As in 4 or 4/5. I noticed this as Lucy was going through the box, so in addition to my own disappointment, I had to deal with hers. She wanted that Hello Kitty dress so badly. Sadly though, it was way too small.

So I did what any rational person would do—I sent the seller an email to see if we could work it out. I gave her 24 hours to respond, and when she didn’t I escalated to Ebay Customer Support. She responded back to them right away, saying that I was the one who was wrong, and offered me a credit of $12 or to send me a few more items.

I know that some of you were privy to all my rantings on Twitter this weekend, and that I am beating a dead horse here, but please indulge me and read this conversation. Please tell me I am right to fight the fight, (If you think I am wrong, you can tell me that too) because DAMN I am pissed off here.

Here was her header:

Girls’ Sz 5/6 – 21 pcs Green Dog, Hello Kitty, Esprit

And here is her description:

This auction contains 21 pieces of girls’ spring or summer clothing in the size 5, 5/6, and one 5 slim in excellent condition. All items are free of rips, stains, or tears. Everything is very gently used with much more use out of them then they got. These are clothes that were pulled out for the spring to winter changeover and my daughter can no longer fit them. This auction includes
4 dresses – Hello Kitty, Youngland (never worn), Disney Cuties, & Girl Tribe
2 sets (4 pieces) – pink Hello Kitty top with matching plaid skirt, multicolored Greendog patchwork short set with matching top (purchased at Macy’s)
4 pairs of shorts – Light wash denim colored Esprit shorts, white Greendog shorts, floral Wonderkids shorts with belt, brown plaid Ocean Pacific shorts
5 tops – Disney cuties top with Thumper on front, green Cherokee top with beads and sequins design on front, hot pink Circo top, long pink multicolored top with asymmetric cut, white short crop hoodie with rhinestone crown decorated on front left made by Target (never worn with tags still attached)
1 skirt – Disney Camp Rock dark wash denim skirt
1 pair of capris – Crazy 8 capris (Gymboree company). These are a size 5 slim
1 crop jacket with matching tank top purchased at Kohl’s

And here is our chain of emails:
Additional information:
“Hello- I sent the email I’ve copied below to the seller on Wednesday. I have not had a response. The item I received was not what her description indicated.

Hi there- I received the item in question today and am very disappointed that these items are NOT a size 5/6 as you have indicated. The majority of these items are a size 4/5 or XS (which is a 4) and do not fit my little girl. One item is a size 5/6, and one item is a size 5 slim and a few are a size 5 as you indicated. I’ve bought many second hand items via Ebay and have sold several myself, and I’m sure this was just an oversight. I’d like to send the items back to you for a full refund. Please let me know if we can work this out– “
You wanted:
A full refund
Refund information:
The seller offered a partial refund of $12.00 that will be issued through PayPal within 3 days if you accept the offer.
Seller’s note:
“I am very sorry but all of the items I listed in this auction were 5 or 5/6 as stated. There was not one size 4 or 4/5 in this auction. 3 of 21 items are labeled XS & XS is equal to a size 5 where I bought them. At Old Navy, North Face, and even Target an XS is equal to a 5. At Justice For Girls, an XXXS is a size 6. If you look at my previous listings for clothing I have sold you will see I am detailed. I list what is there even highlighting any flaws there may be. I would have listed this auction as a size 4 auction or stated it contained sz 4 if it had as I have in the past because sz 4 is very popular. Online shopping can be difficult. That is why I provide good pictures & descriptions & ask questions be asked before bidding. I will gladly give you a partial refund because I want you to be happy. As an honest seller, I care about your satisfaction. I will even send you a couple more size 5 pieces should you choose that instead. I hope we can work this out. Have a wonderful day.”
Your message to the seller:
“I have just taken a minute to go through the clothing again to be sure that I was not mistaken the first time. I was not. The denim skirt, pink dress, Disney thumper shirt, white half sweatshirt and the green top are all clearly marked XS (4/5). I have taken photos of the tags if you are interested. The clothing that is only labeled as XS I did some digging on as well. Here is Target’s sizing chart, showing that XS is = to 4/5 http://www.target.com/Clothing-Sizing-Guide-Sizing-Shopping-Help/-
b/13666801?ie=UTF8&ref=br_bx_Clothing%20Sizing%20Guide I wasn’t able to find a size chart for the Sanrio Hello Kitty items, however, they are just as small. Again, I don’t mean to imply that there was any malice involved here and that is why I have not left negative feedback. I do believe that there was an oversight on your part though, and for that, I would still like to return these items for a full refund. Please let me know, Sara “
So—
1. This chick is crazy
2. She lied about the size of the clothing as evidenced by the tags—photos of which are still in my possession
3. She implied that I should have asked questions before buying—Like what? Are these items really all size 5 or 5/6? Or is that just a clever ploy to get rid of your size 4 clothing.
4. Where does the $12 refund come from?

It takes a lot to get me fired up…and let me tell you I am FIRED UP. So what is your opinion? Am I in the wrong here? I’m not going to rest until I get all of my money back.

Extra Curricular

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I have to admit that when Lucy quit gymnastics after she turned 3 because she didn’t like doing it herself (it was previously Mommy and Me), I was relieved. For one, I didn’t have to deal with those horrible women any longer, but also because it really put a cramp in to our Saturday schedule. We’re coming to a point though where she is interested in doing things again, and of course, gymnastics is at the top of the list. Well, gymnastics and cheerleading, but she can’t be a cheerleader until she is 7. I’m also at the point where I would like to start doing Mommy and Me with Liv, so I think we really need to start exploring the options.

Only some of The Mean Moms transferred to where we started going after the old school closed, but I don’t think I like that location. It was always complete chaos, and I don’t think that Lucy would have got much out of it even if she had stayed. Other locations that I know about are either too far away, or more than I want to pay. I have some feelers out with some friends to see if there are any that I am missing. I’d also like classes that butt up against each other, so I can do Liv, and then Lucy and then be done for the day.

I think I’m asking for too much.

The girls only go to pre-school/daycare 2 days a week. And while they’re not sitting around like lumps while they’re with Hub or my mom (I actually think there is a lot of value in going out to work with Hub), they need to be enriched. But I want to do it in a way where it does not wreak havoc on our lives. Bud does Tae Kwon Do 3 days a week after school. Even on his later class days, he is home by 6:30. We are lucky to have FIL to help facilitate getting him there and back. How do you guys do it? What do you do with your kids?

I need help!

Can you tell me how to get…

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I had a half day on Friday to get some things done and I got home just in time to see Bud getting off the bus. Bonus. I am never home to see him running up the walk. I told Hub that it is time to get the porch furniture out for the times that I am home as I like to sit out there with my coffee while waiting or after I put the kids to bed at night for some fresh air. This is not to mention the fact that our neighbor’s house is for sale, and I would love to have a vessel to further my gawking at the potential buyers coming in and out instead of pressing my face up against the glass like a lunatic.

Speaking of lunacy, I had my niece in addition to my own 3 kids this weekend, and I took all 4 of them to the science museum to see the Sesame Street body exhibit. They had a really good time. We met up with Hub’s cousin and her kid as well, so it was 2 on 5. The bonus of the day was being able to climb the (treacherous wrought iron) spiral stair case up to the roof which is their observatory. Bud got to take a look at the sun through a large telescope, and I got to take some photos of our city’s skyline. The museum was actually pretty small, but just right to fill a few hours in the mid afternoon. (and could you just *DIE* over Liv’s Converse All*Stars???)

The kids were so well behaved that I took them all for ice cream on the way home. I made small talk with a woman who was pregnant with her 3rd child, a boy after having 2 girls. She was worried that the boy would be harder than her girls were. I told her that for me, compared to the girls, the boy is a piece of cake. It was nice. My niece ate all 3 of my kids under the table; you’d have thought she was in some sort of contest. I had to pull napkin out of her mouth several times.

I woke up yesterday morning and could hardly walk and couldn’t figure out why. Then it occurred to me—the stairs. I carried the baby up and down that steep spiral stair case. It was horrible, but things needed to get done, and they did. General Sunday stuff that included grocery shopping and cleaning, and showers for the kiddos, plus getting ready for what is sure to be a long week since my parents are on a cruise. This leaves the girls home with Hub/FIL for 3 days instead of their usual 1 day at home. I have high ambitions for this week as well, which includes listing some more items on Ebay and figuring out just what the hell I am supposed to be doing at work.

Something tells me that by the time next weekend arrives, I’m going to need it.

Sound the Trumpets!

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I’ve lost 6 pounds. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing—especially considering that I have about 70 more to lose, but in the past it has been virtually impossible for me to lose weight. I’ve gone to the gym for months at a time and have thought that I was doing a good job, but end up losing say 10 or 15 lbs over the course of several months and toning up quite a bit, but I never lose anything this early on.

According to my doctor, I have the worst possible type of metabolism. Even with the thyroid meds, though they boost my thyroid function, my metabolism virtually stands still. We recently upped my Synthroid dose quite a bit, but I have to do twice the work of a normal person to make any sort of difference, so I’ve been doing just that over the last 2 weeks. I’ve gone to they gym for an hour a day, 5 days a week. I’ve tracked my calories and all that jazz in a fancy tracker for my Blackberry. For the first time, I am actually holding myself accountable, and I think it is helping. I feel better than I have felt in a very long time.

I’d be lying if I said that hearing that my new boss is a body builder and fitness aficionado in her spare time isn’t somewhat motivating. I don’t want to meet her in my current schlubby state. Plus she’s younger than me. I need to get moving.

Speaking of the job, it is going ok. Yes, ok. I am one week in and I feel like my head is going to explode with all of the new information. I am doing a lot of absorbing. I made a huge error on my very first project; it was fixable, but you know, I really wanted to shine. It’s harder than I thought it would be. In the good way though. I’m happy.

But I am glad it is the weekend.

Maybe I’m craaaaazy! Probably!!

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The kids keep asking me why I’m going to the gym and it is so hard to refrain from telling them the real reason, which is that I’d like to be skinny again. “To be healthy”, I tell them and I grit my teeth. Health is some of it, but really, I just want to get rid of all the weight I’ve put on through and after my 3 pregnancies. I’ve been at the gym right at opening time (5am on weekdays, 7am on weekends) for 6 out of the last 8 days. I’m proud of myself, and I’m starting to feel a little bit better. But damn if it isn’t hard—not even so much to get there, but to stay motivated. 6 hours in the gym seems like a lot. And I feel like I should notice at least a small improvement somewhere. I am aware that this is unrealistic, but I’d like just a little bit of instant gratification, you know?

I’ve also been really trying my best to not eat a whole bunch of crap, and it’s going ok—but it is hard at work. You smell all of these amazing things, and then all you have to eat is natural peanut butter on multigrain. Which is delicious, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not a steak hoagie with peppers and onions.

Have any of you ever injured the arch of your foot? Mine is killing me, and I’d like to take care of it without, you know, seeing a doctor. I’ve read a lot about inserts—any recommendations? It hurts so freaking bad! It all happened when I took a lunchtime walk in my dress shoes (flats) that have less support and sole than a flip flop does. I don’t want to get out of the habit of working out, so resting it isn’t really an option. I just need to fix it!! NOW!!

My parents took the kids overnight on Saturday, and Hub and I spent our time alone grocery shopping. We had intentions of seeing a movie, but ended up sitting in the bar of PF Changs and eating a late dinner instead. I was way too tired for a movie, what with all the exercising. I slept in until 10:45 yesterday morning too. Oh it was glorious. Hub was out getting coffee and breakfast (unasked, thank you!!) when I got up and then we read the paper and ate bakery doughnuts (Sunday’s don’t count in my quest for good eating, apparently), and finally went to get the kiddos.

So there is more gym on the agenda for this week; I already went today. And then there is the new job, where I am very very lost, but very much enjoying it and absorbing things. And we are taking the CAQuincy way of seeing if Bud can stay dry through the night (it involves a shower curtain and multiple sheet changes, and kind of sucks if your washer is broken, BUT it works—at least more times than it fails) because he want s to have sleep overs with friends (um, hell no) and doesn’t want to have to wear a pull up. And I’m selling a bunch of crap on Ebay. So, another busy week, and hopefully a relaxing weekend to follow. Did I mention we got our play set built? The kids are spending literal hours out there, just swinging and climbing and having a GRAND old time.

So anyway, I feel like a crazy person lately, but the good kind of crazy.

The Fever

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“I love Justin Bieber, Mama”, Lucy proclaimed to me in the car this morning. “I know, baby”, I replied. “No!! MY BIEBER!!”, Liv yelled from the back. I just grinned, those funny girls.

Lucy, at the ripe old age of 4 has the Bieber Fever. She saw him on the Kid’s Choice Awards and has been hooked. 4-years old with her first boy obsession. Oy,

We were listening to the radio on the way to my mom’s this morning and the local radio station was all about Justin because he is in town today performing a free concert for the school in our area who collected the most pennies for our Children’s Hospital. Girls were calling in because he was (supposedly) listening to their messages from his hotel. And they were all “I love you, Justin!!” “I’m single, Justin!!” and various other teeny bopper bull shit.

It took me back though—some 20 years when I myself was in middle school. Our school raised the most money and had the most Walk America participation. And so we had our own private concert in our gym with……wait for it…..

NELSON!!

I know. 1. I am old, and 2. OMG, NELSON!! But remembering it, I know just how those girls feel. I wasn’t even so much obsessed with Nelson at the time, but to have a big time celebrity in our school was probably the most exciting thing that had happened to me at that point in my life. And I remember how I felt (ok still feel) about, say NKOTB, and I totlally get those little girls.

And even though she’s only 4, I’m happy to indulge Lucy’s obsession. We pump up the music in the car. We recorded SNL for her last week. We’ve discussed (but haven’t made a decision about) going to see him at the state fair in August.

I can’t wait to see what she’s like as a teenager.

Fitness Tips (to myself)

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• The first 2 weeks are always the hardest. You will want to die. You will want to cry. But think of the energy you will have going in to week 3. You’ve done this before. You got this.
• Don’t compare yourself to all those skinny girls. They probably didn’t have 3 babies in less than 5 years, and if they did, they are the freaks. You are the norm. Nobody there is concerned with your jiggly ass. (I promise)
• You have always had a love/hate relationship with the elliptical. You will want to kick it’s ass for the first week or so. But once you hit your groove, it will be your best friend.
• Drinking 20 ounces of water before you’ve even had breakfast will seem like a bad idea and you will try and talk yourself out of it. Don’t. Accept the peeing all day in exchange for not dying from the muscle spasms.
• Getting up at 4:50 am sucks. So what, suck it up. You haven’t slept a full night in more than 2 years anyway.
• Regardless of the outcome, you will never wear a bikini. Ever. Focus on being healthy for your children and your husband.

The New Job–and more importantly–Can someone meet me in the Dallas airport?

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I feel like the awkward girl in those teeny-bopper movies, who lands the hot guy, but it’s all a big secret. I got a really big promotion yesterday–I mean HUGE–but I’m not allowed to talk about it until a formal announcement is made. And I am just DYING to talk about it.

I want to first say 2 things—thank you all so much for cheering me on through Twitter as I was applying and going through my interviews. My anxiety was through the roof and knowing you guys were out there helped a lot.

The second is that although I have been less than thrilled with my current job and what it has become over the last 12 months, I am grateful to have had it and for what I have learned.

So the new job– it’s a consulting and process ownership position. I am responsible for the processes and the “making it work” piece for an entire line of business. It is a really big deal. I no longer have direct reports, nor do I report to anyone on site. My boss is actually located in Texas (hence my title). There is travel, extra vacation, a laptop and a pretty decent bump in pay involved. This is where I have been looking to go for my whole career. This is why I haven’t minded being called a braniac or a nerd all these years. I have this uncanny ability to retain job information (why this never worked for me in school, I don’t know) and recall it and apply it to all sorts of situations. Only in my work life am I able to talk completely out of my ass until something makes sense. And it has finally paid off for me.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I am terrified. Insanely so. It’s the good kind of scary though, you know what I mean? Like there is so much out there before me, and did it–I’ve made it to the top on my own merit.

I can’t help feeling like a superstar.

this is how we do it (in the morning)

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I get asked a lot how I accomplish things with 3 small children and a full time job.  It always catches me off guard; I don’t think that I am doing anything that is extraordinary—I just do things.  My aunt was amazed, recently, that not only were my children awake and at my mother’s by 7:30 am, but that they were groomed, and dressed, and were ready for the day.  Yesterday I facebooked that I had a whole meal going (meatloaf, mashed potatoes and the whole deal) plus I had baked cookies.  A friend commented that when she was working, that her family was lucky if they had cereal, or sandwiches for dinner, and she only has one child.

 

I don’t know, I guess I am flattered, though again, I don’t feel like I am at all special.  How we operate differs a little bit based on the day—Mon and Wed I have an extra 30 min in the AM because Hub takes the girls to daycare/preschool.  Tuesdays and Fridays I leave by 7 to get the girls to my mom’s.  Thursday is a fantastic day because the girls stay home with Hub, so I don’t have to get anyone up or dressed.  Bud is pretty independent in all of this—I leave his clothes out and FIL is there to guide him through breakfast and making the bus on time.

 

Aside from those little things though, here is a typical morning for us:

 

  • 5:30 AM- my alarm goes off.  I snooze it once or twice and am out of bed before 6.
  • Make coffee, pack Bud’s lunch and school bag (these are things that I could do the night before, but they work as a motivator for me to get out of bed in the morning.  They are necessary. I will have to do them regardless, and if I don’t get out of bed, I WILL BE LATE!)
  • By 6:15/6:20 I am in the shower.  Out no later than 6:30. 
  • Start to wake the girls up while I get dressed and groomed.  Start to wake Hub up as well.
  • 6:45 really push Lucy to get dressed already, change and dress the baby.  Brush Lucy’s hair.  Make sure bags are in the right car and ready to go. 
  • 7:00 leave (or 7:30 as the case may be—I will use the extra 30 minutes to maybe put on makeup, or give the girls some pony tails—or even just let them sleep in a bit.)

 

The key in the morning routine is that I never sit down.  I pour a cup of coffee and take a drink every time I pass the kitchen counter.  I take my breakfast with me to work.  The girls eat breakfast at school or grandma’s.  It is all about being a well oiled machine.

 

We have routines for the evenings as well.  And Hub has a pretty good housework routine because he is home during the day quite a bit.  We plan meals, eat dinner together on most nights, and usually have time to play a game or read with the big kids before bed.

 

For the most part, we put very little effort in to keeping things going; it’s just a matter of keeping up on that little effort to make it work.

 

What works for you in the morning?

Like a Lamb

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The beginning of March always leaves me feeling a bit like a panting dog; thirsty for water on a hot summer’s day. Spring is so close that I can taste it, and yet, here in Western New York there is still much snow on the ground and there is not a tulip busting through fresh spring soil in sight.

But, it is kind of warming up. In fact this weekend we will boast highs of 40 degrees. Surely some snow will melt and the muddy smells of spring will seep up through the grass. I can’t wait.

I’ll be spending the weekend with my mother and my aunts in Rochester, sans kids. I’m not exactly sure what we will be doing aside from going for Thai food on Saturday night, but I’m sure it will be fun. Hopefully my cousins will be able to join us for some of it. In my mother’s words, we’ll just be chilling. (Chilling. With my mother. OMG)

We are leaving right after I get out of work on Friday, so I have to have everything packed and ready tonight. It’s kind of an overwhelming thought. I’ll need to get all of the kid’s crap ready for Hub too. I may as well not even go to sleep.

And speaking of sleep (along with new beginnings), the baby is still sleeping. All night every night. It is glorious–so much so that you almost forget not sleeping for the better part of 2 years. And when you have a sleeping baby it makes it more feasible to talk about possibly having the fourth and final baby. Maybe. Maybe not. Nobody is saying yes right now, but nobody is screaming ‘HELL NO!!’ anymore either.

Time will tell, I suppose. Maybe next spring.