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I was going through my old diary account and came across this entry from when I was about 4-months along with ED:

I heard baby’s heart beat!!! Saturday, July 19, 2003
I did, I did!! it was 143 beats per minute, and per old wives tales, that means a girl. How fun!!
The midwife says it sounds like a very happy baby in there! She found the heartbeat EXACTLY where I always feel baby kicking me. How funny. I can’t wait until my ultrasound. I need to know what this bundle of joy will be!!
I treated myself to a decaf Starbucks on the way to work, and had an amazing day knowing for sure that baby’s heart was beating and that I wasn’t imagining those little kicks. It was a triumph. I only wish Ed could have been there; he was working out of town.
I’m going to a giant craft show with my parents tomorrow, and I’m pretty excited. I don’t get out and do too many things any more. Besides, they always feed me.
It’s funny how our relationship has changed since I’ve been preggo though. They always greet me and see me off with hugs and kisses. We haven’t done that since I was about 5.
On a side note, if my mother refers to my baby as ‘our baby'(our including her….) one more time, I’m really going to slap her. She wants to know if she can be called Nonnie now. I just roll my eyes in silence.
I think that’s about it, I want to organize my clothes so that m maternity clothes are accessible, and everything else is out of the way for now.

It’s funny how hearing the heartbeat is still an amazing thing, even the 3rd time around. It further amazes me that I worry as much this time as I did the first time. I wonder if it ever stops. I know we’re ok, but I worry about this baby constantly. Will it be healthy? Will it end up in the NICU like CA did? Will it be gigantic like it’s brother? Will it be a champion nurser like both of it’s siblings. How will it change our family?

Of course, only time will tell. I just wish I could shut my brain off in the meantime.

5 responses »

  1. Isn’t it great that they’re all so different (the pregnancies, the babies themselves), but each of them is amazing and special? Love your journal entry.

  2. no it never changes.and my mom and my present mother in law had “quaint” little names they wanted to be called by my children, it never worked out for either one of them, they acted like it was my fault! HA

  3. Hiya!Yes, I’m fine. And dandy. Just un-motivated to blog just yet. Maybe soon, though…Thanks for stopping by, and thinking of me! 🙂

  4. We are wishing good things for this little baby. Health and vigor and lots of positive vibes. It is natural to worry, just keep your chin up. I have a good feeling that it will be just fine.

  5. Ha! My mom insisted on being called Nana, and both the grandpas somehow ended up being Pawpaw. Glad all is well in utero!


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