CA’s gymnastics school is closing; Saturday is her last day. I’m torn in my feelings about it because she really enjoys it, and is really good at it (for an almost 3-year-old) but the mom’s were just really hard for me to deal with. So on one had its “poor CA!!!” and on the other it’s “Phew, I never have to see those women again!”
Out of the group, there are maybe two down-to-earth mothers. The majority of them are SAHM’s, but not the cool kind like you all out there; the kind that think working mothers are doing the world a disservice; that daycare is bad etc. I understood them not talking to me at first; I can seem standoffish to those who don’t know me. I am quiet in unfamiliar situations. Even in my adult life, it is hard for me to make friends. I get that. Not to mention that I refuse to get myself all made up on a Saturday morning to take my kid to gymnastics. It’s not a big deal. But at some point, I started feeling comfortable and when one of the instructors began speaking of her sister, who had delivered a “HUGE” 8-lb baby, I inserted that CA herself weighed 9”5 and that ED was 10”2. I then joked that the Bean probably already weighed 8lbs. I wasn’t met with the chorus of “Wow, that’s amazing!!” that I normally get, but rather mutterings of “all of my kids weighed about 5lbs” and “what did you have gestational diabetes or something??”. I felt like they may as well have said “shut up! You don’t belong here!!”
A few weeks later, a new mom joined and commented that her son didn’t want to leave; and he was the same at daycare. I talked a bit with New Mom, CA is the same way and blah blah blah, and a few minutes later was approached by “the ringleader mom.”
“So CA goes to daycare?”
“Yes, she and her brother both……”
“Hmmm, I just registered J for (prestigious) Montessori School for pre-k next year. We’re on the waiting list, but I won’t mind if she’s home with me another year. Where do you work?”
I tell her.
She looks at me like I told her I work at Pizza Hut or something. “And what do you do there??”
“I’m the Assistant Vice President in charge of …”
“Oh, how nice for you.”
For some reason I justify it by saying that Hub is self employed and is home with them 2 days a week.
“Oh, that’s nice for him……”
I’m not sure why I allow myself to be made to feel bad by these women. I am happy with our work/daycare/life balance. My kids are happy and well adjusted. I enjoy working and providing for them. I shook off her comments I returned to class the following week with a smile determined to ignore any comments that came my way. Thankfully none did, but I have to admit that when I heard The Ringleader telling New Mom that the parents usually go out for coffee and donuts after class, that it stung a little bit.
Not all of the parents go—some were never even invited.