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Category Archives: childcare

Le Sigh

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I set the alarm for 5:30 this morning, but the baby started fussing at about 5:12. I shoved the pacifier in her mouth, holding her over until 5:23, when I plucked her, screaming and hungry from her bed. She ate lazily, as always, and barely woke up when I changed her diaper, but did latch back on and eat a bit more before I put her in the swing so I could shower. By the time I was out, the clock was nearing 7:30 and it was time to get the big kids up and fed. They were cooperative enough, and we only got out of here about 5 minutes after I had planned.

Today was Olivia’s first day at daycare.

You wouldn’t think that there would be a ton of anxiety, considering she is my third child, but it was no easier for me than it ever was. She has been with me every waking moment since her conception last November, save for a few runs to the store or to take the kids to school. And today, I was to hand her over to someone else. And come home, no less, since we had to start her this week or forfiet her spot and I don’t go back to work Monday.

“It will be great!”, I thought, “I can get used to leaving her without the pressures of work.” It wasn’t great. I kept it together though and didn’t cry as I went through th instructions with her caregiver, who is the mother of one of Lucy’s classmates, and her assistant, Lupe, who seemed nice enough–but I’m not so sure she speaks much english.

I was fine. I stopped and got a coffee and came home to work on some paperwork for Hub, pump, and take a nap.

I was fine.

Until I realized that in all of my explaining, I didn’t kiss the baby goodbye. I handed her off, talked a bunch, and left. So here I am typing, in tears, fighting every urge to go back up there just to kiss my baby girl goodbye. She wasn’t going to realize I was gone anyway, but how could I forget?

So much for thinking that this would be easier. It actually kind of sucks. A lot.

She, Lucy and I are spending tomorrow with my best girlfriend, her 3-year old daughter and her 4-month old daughter. It will be a nice break until I take her back on Friday. And tonight, I don’t plan on putting her down. I need my fill of her soft baby face and smell. I feel like I need to suck it all in; that she might somehow lose it while I’m not with her.

It’s funny, isn’t it, that a few short months ago I was wondering what she would do to our lives? Our dynamic? How we would love her as much as Bud and Lucy? And now, away from her for the first time, those feelings are foreign. It’s like she has always been here and we’ve always loved her.

In any case, I sure do miss her. And I’m glad I can pipe in and watch her all day on the computer. It’s clear that I am getting no work done today, right?

Not The Cool Mom

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CA’s gymnastics school is closing; Saturday is her last day. I’m torn in my feelings about it because she really enjoys it, and is really good at it (for an almost 3-year-old) but the mom’s were just really hard for me to deal with. So on one had its “poor CA!!!” and on the other it’s “Phew, I never have to see those women again!”

Out of the group, there are maybe two down-to-earth mothers. The majority of them are SAHM’s, but not the cool kind like you all out there; the kind that think working mothers are doing the world a disservice; that daycare is bad etc. I understood them not talking to me at first; I can seem standoffish to those who don’t know me. I am quiet in unfamiliar situations. Even in my adult life, it is hard for me to make friends. I get that. Not to mention that I refuse to get myself all made up on a Saturday morning to take my kid to gymnastics. It’s not a big deal. But at some point, I started feeling comfortable and when one of the instructors began speaking of her sister, who had delivered a “HUGE” 8-lb baby, I inserted that CA herself weighed 9”5 and that ED was 10”2. I then joked that the Bean probably already weighed 8lbs. I wasn’t met with the chorus of “Wow, that’s amazing!!” that I normally get, but rather mutterings of “all of my kids weighed about 5lbs” and “what did you have gestational diabetes or something??”. I felt like they may as well have said “shut up! You don’t belong here!!”

A few weeks later, a new mom joined and commented that her son didn’t want to leave; and he was the same at daycare. I talked a bit with New Mom, CA is the same way and blah blah blah, and a few minutes later was approached by “the ringleader mom.”

“So CA goes to daycare?”

“Yes, she and her brother both……”

“Hmmm, I just registered J for (prestigious) Montessori School for pre-k next year. We’re on the waiting list, but I won’t mind if she’s home with me another year. Where do you work?”

I tell her.

She looks at me like I told her I work at Pizza Hut or something. “And what do you do there??”

“I’m the Assistant Vice President in charge of …”

“Oh, how nice for you.”

For some reason I justify it by saying that Hub is self employed and is home with them 2 days a week.

“Oh, that’s nice for him……”


I’m not sure why I allow myself to be made to feel bad by these women. I am happy with our work/daycare/life balance. My kids are happy and well adjusted. I enjoy working and providing for them. I shook off her comments I returned to class the following week with a smile determined to ignore any comments that came my way. Thankfully none did, but I have to admit that when I heard The Ringleader telling New Mom that the parents usually go out for coffee and donuts after class, that it stung a little bit.

Not all of the parents go—some were never even invited.

More Random Crap

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CA has green goop leaking from her nose and right eye. It is not at all charming. She was up several times during the night and ended up in our bed after Hub left for work at 5AM. I’m waiting for a “post-naptime come and get your sick child what were you thinking sending her today” type of call from daycare.

ED will tell anyone of his love of “brown” and “pink” pop tarts. Sadly, Hub bought the wrong pink ones, strawberry instead of cherry. The frosting on the strawberry is white, making them “not pink”. I argued with ED about it being the same thing, and my last words before getting in the shower this morning were “It better be gone when I get out.” It was, and I asked him about it. Was it good, etc. I noticed there was no pop-tart mess on his face and questioned him further. He insisted it was “all gone”. I asked him to why there were no pop tarts in his teeth and was told “Because it’s all gone in the garbage can, not in my belly.” What kind of 4-year-old can play the semantics game? Mine can!!

We are grilling tonight, and I am excited. The weather has been great the last few days, and though it is dreary today, it is still warm. I’m going to be bitter when it sleets and rains this weekend.

Backtracking a bit, Hub took the kids to the children’s museum yesterday and spent a good 5 hours there. He called me several times with updates. My favorite one “This place is a haven for SAHM’s! I wonder if I could join the Mommy club!”

We’ve been having quite a bit of dialogue about what to do with the kids while I am on Maternity Leave. I think it’s important for them to continue with daycare—it won’t be any fun being cooped up in the house with baby and me all summer. When pre-school changes to summer camp in late June, we have the opportunity to modify their schedule until September without losing their MWF slot for the fall. The problem is that they would change over to 2 days per week BEFORE my leave (I plan on working thru 7/15) and they would change back to 3 days per week probably a full month before I am back at work. This whole business of not being able to hold our slots for us is a bit ridiculous. I get that they are in the business of making money, but seriously, come on.

We haven’t told them yet that we don’t plan on enrolling The Bean until she is a year old; when ED is safely in kindergarten. They are starting to look at me funny as I waddle through the halls with no mention of my pregnancy. Whatev.

Have I mentioned that we are considering traveling to Atlanta at the end of May? When I will be starting my 8th month of pregnancy? Oh yeah!! I wonder if it will be worse than VA was in June when I was pregnant with CA.

And finally, I found out late last night that the gutting of my kitchen is happening tomorrow. I am not at all prepared. Nothing like a little bit of notice!!

Oh, and a last minute FINALLY!! Hub just brought a Ford Edge by to see if we really could fit all 3 car seats in the back. WE CAN!!! It’s an 07 so I think we can get a pretty good deal. YAY! YAY! YAY! Next to the El Camino this is my dream car!!

Deep Calming Breaths

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I figured I should take a few minutes and sit down and write because I have been on a horrific rampage here at work today. Note To Self: It is never acceptable to stand up and yell “Hey Ass-wipes!!” in the workplace.

I worked yesterday, President’s Day, in order to gain a future floating holiday. It was dead, and I did absolutely nothing. Glorious. I left around 4:30 though because I had a conference set up with ED’s teacher. Typically, I avoid daycare parent/teacher conferences, because, well, it’s weird—but I decided to do this one since it is a new school and I don’t get to talk to his teacher often like I did at the old place. I fully expected to hear that my son was a gifted genius, but all I got was “he is one of the smartest in the class……” I was pleased to hear, however, that ED is the best mannered 4-year-old she has ever encountered. We are big on the polite thing in our house (well, all of us but CA who seems to think it is acceptable to bark orders on a wide variety of subjects……but that’s a story for another day) so it’s nice to hear that he carries it over to school. The good things she said: he is very bright, he can count to 30 and identify numbers up to 99, he knows all of his colors (which he has since he was like 18-months old) both in English and in Spanish, he can identify a few words—his name, cat, dog etc by sight, he can write his name and the majority of his letters, he excels in computer class (seriously, you should see this kid at p b s dot com) and he gets along well with the other children. Her concerns: he is something of a know-it-all, shouting out answers before the other kids can and he holds his pencil in his fist rather than the right way. I asserted that it may have something to do with him being a lefty and she agreed. She is starting a name book with him where he can work on printing his full formal first name on dotted lines. First he’ll be tracing and then he will write it out on his own. In all, I think it went really well. It was nice to have a little one-on-one with her.

I picked the kids up then, a full hour early, and ran in to the CA’s infant teacher from the old center; apparently, her daughter goes there. She told me that she can’t believe how big CA has gotten, and that it’s funny to see how much the same, personality wise she is as she was as a baby. (She wants what she wants, when she wants it and will do whatever it takes to get it) She said there’s no word to describe her except to say “she is such a CA”. Indeed.

So, like I said, I’m reasonably miserable today. Hub has had the flu since Thursday and hasn’t been sleeping well, which means I haven’t been sleeping well either. My mother is having a jewelry party tonight, which I am skipping, because Hub has to work, but also because of my sinuses-I don’t think I can deal with the cigarette smoke, even if she didn’t smoke inside at all today.

Tomorrow I will be 16-weeks along, so maybe I’ll post another belly shot, for your enjoyment.

Toodles, for now!


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My weekend was actually pretty good, despite the fact that the drama queens in my family cancelled our Christmas gathering due to the potential of a bad snow storm. This is complete jackassery if you ask me. It started with my uncle flat out refusing to go because he didn’t want to get stranded somewhere. Then my mother started freaking out until finally my aunt just cancelled it. The storm was not supposed to hit until late in the evening, when we would all be at her house anyway. Worst case scenario, we could have all stayed there. Luckily, I am a huge procrastinator so when my mother called at 10 to say it was off, I was just stepping in to the checkout line at the grocery store and I gave everything back to the cashier.

I’m a little bit smug over the fact that the weather never really got that bad.

We ended up having a good weekend anyway. We took the kids sledding and to see Santa on Saturday during the day, I took a 3 hour nap in the afternoon, and then we saw Alvin and The Chipmunks and went out for dinner in the evening. Yesterday I slept in and then baked Christmas cookies. I had good intentions of cleaning the kitchen floor, but it never happened. It is a filthy mess.

Despite the fact that I slept all weekend, I am exhausted today. Really exhausted. I have been sick in the evenings, rather than all day, and I haven’t been eating much dinner. Sick for me involves loud and exaggerated gagging which hub and the kids find to be very entertaining and imitate very well. I’m not entertained, fuck-holes. I’m surprised FIL hasn’t caught on yet. 2 more weeks ‘til I go to the doctor. This is the longest I have ever waited and it is keeeeeeling me. I just want to see my baby bean doing ok, and happily swimming around in there.

The Head Teacher from the 9-18 month room at the old daycare has transferred to the new one. She was one of CA’s favorites, and has been assigned to her room as an assistant. (I guess she takes the bus and could not transfer to the brand new center that opens in Jan. so she decided to stay with the company as an assistant.) My kids were always the teacher’s favorites at the old place (how could they not be) so it was nice to see someone who was genuinely excited to see them both and notice how much they’ve grown over the last 5 months. The old director was in for a visit last week and we got to see her too. It’s nice that we still have some ties to the old staff that we were so comfortable with.

Well this is all over the place and apparently I have nothing good to say. I’m debating taking a nap in lieu of a lunch today. Sounds like a plan.