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The Long and Winding Post…….

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I mentioned the other day that I wanted to get away from using initials for my kid’s names. I’m pretty set on calling CA “Lucy” as that is what I call her at home anyway. The Bean will be Olivia because we can’t use it but I love it. Much like choosing a boy’s name though, choosing a pseudonym for ED is excruciating! Nothing fits. He is nothing to me other than his name. I call him Handsome and Bud at home, but those don’t fit here. I should just say SCREW IT and go back to using their real names. Everyone knows them anyway. It’s just the whole searching thing. If someone searched all 3 kid’s names, surely they would find this Blog, correct? This is stupid. And hard.

I’m ready to stop working now. Really really ready. The official countdown is 99 days! DOUBLE DIGITS!! But I anticipate giving birth between 7/21 and 7/28 which puts us at about 11-12 weeks to go. (Watch me go like 10 days overdue or some crap) Seriously though, with how low she is, my back is killing me consistently, I have my usual pregnancy related hip pain, and now I have this hernia to contend with, which is actually pretty sore. Work is also ridiculously busy and stressful on top of it, so it seems like a good idea to be done sooner than later. I’m at the point where I would be paid for any time off as long as it was medically necessary and documented (2 weeks per year of service times 8 years=16 weeks of paid time off prior to Maternity Leave) I planned on working at least through 7/15 and friends, I don’t think it’s going to happen. My issue is with my monthly bonus—I have to work at least one day in the month to qualify for it. So….June 1st? July 1st? I have 9 vacation days plus Memorial Day off in May so I think I can get through it.

I also have until tomorrow to decide the kid’s summer daycare schedule. When I had CA, ED was still at the old center and they were very flexible. I dropped him down to 2 days a week to get him out of the house as well as to give me alone time with CA. The new center, not so flexible. They can go MWF or T/THU. I think that for consistency, the MWF is the best, and I do receive my full pay while I am out, so no big deal. I just wish we could go Tues/Weds/Thurs instead and then have them home Friday through Monday. 3 days on, 4 days off, you know? Maybe if I sat down and talked with the director……but I really don’t want to.

Hub’s birthday is Friday; he will be 32. I still have not got him a gift. I still don’t know what to get him. I actually know what I want to get him, but I think he will be upset with the cost. I don’t know. I have the day off and we are planning on doing lunch at the Casino where they have a huge buffet. We go there exclusively to eat, we almost never gamble. Then we’ll have cake at home after we pick up the kids. Is it wrong that I’m stressing out about not being near the computer all day for Swistle’s Big Reveal? Thankfully, I can check email and read Blogs through the internet browser on my phone. I just can’t comment.

My mother really irritated me on Sunday which I neglected to mention yesterday. ED was being a real pisser at dinner, pouting and just being nasty overall. After Hub said something he didn’t like he said “Well FINE THEN!” I’m, not eating!!” Hun took his drink away, stating the obvious—he wasn’t drinking pop if he wasn’t eating dinner. ED broke down in hysterics so Hub took him out of the restaurant. My mother was appalled “all of that for a little bit of acting out?” I told her it is the only way to deal with him; the only thing that works. “I think it’s too much and it really bothers me.” Again, you do not deal with this kid on a daily basis. When he gets in this sort of mood you have to physically remove him from the situation in order to break it. “So what, now they’re not going to eat dinner??” They will be back in a few minutes; ED just needs time to relax. “Well, it really bothers me.” I wanted to say really hurtful things, relating to the way my youngest brother acts and behaves—that maybe if she had used some different tactics he wouldn’t be the way he is. But I bit my tongue. She feels bad enough about my brother as it is. And sure enough, Hub and ED returned less than 5 minutes later, with ED happy as a clam. I don’t appreciate my parenting being criticized. Here’s the thing—we will put up with silliness, and we can tolerate moods/acting out to an extent—it is typical preschool/toddler behavior. But when it turns in to total bullshit, it is plain not allowed. We have happy, well adjusted, and for the most part, very well behaved children. I felt like she was implying we were beating them or something……we don’t even spank them. I feel better getting that out—much better.

I am treating myself to Burger King for lunch today. Hub picked up food for himself and the kids yesterday but nothing for me because 1. I haven’t been eating much for dinner and 2. He didn’t know what I would want. Of course, this put me on the warpath……but I can recover by getting my own Whopper today. I’m excited, which in a word, is sad.

Finally, out of the mouth of my baby, I offer you three recent revelations. The first, after hearing someone on TV mention their boyfriend: “I have two boyfriends, Merrick and Davin……” At dinner on Friday she stood up, pointed to Hub and said “what the hell is the matter with you!!” (That one is all me…) And on the way home the other day “Mommy, we don’t say sum of the bitch, we say sum of the gun, right?” (I take no credit for that one though…she heard it from my dad on Easter…one time…and has been obsessed ever since.)

Random Crap and a (somewhat) Rhetorical Question

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I promised ED I would take him to buy flip flops tonight. Do you think he’ll forget? Since we started in the kitchen, he’s been wearing mine……apparently, he hates his slippers now and he NEEDS flip flops. From “Oh Maybe’s” [Old Navy] Ok then Mr. Opinion. CA, I’m sure, will insist that she needs some as well, even though I just ordered her some from TCP……they just haven’t arrived (or even shipped for that matter and it has been 10 days) yet. I hear that Payless is doing BOGO right now though, so maybe I can score some new (ahem–slightly larger) summer shoes while we are out.

I had my glucose tolerance test this morning and it was horrific. My old doctor had this backwoods formula that involved drinking a can of orange crush ½ hour before your appointment and then she drew your blood when you came in. The new doctor…not so much. That bottle of orange melted freezy pop with extra sugar was enough to take me over the edge. Vomit city. I thought it was maybe like a shot of something, a sip or two-but a WHOLE BOTTLE?? Yuck. About 20 minutes after I drank it, I started feeling shaky, dizzy and nauseous which does nothing but leave me to wonder “is my body processing this correctly or incorrectly??” I don’t even know what I’ll do if I have to go back for the second test. I was nauseous until a few hours ago.

Have any of you given any thought to the kind of parent you will be when your kids are grown? I imagine myself having weekly family dinners, with a house full of grand kids, and daily phone calls. I can’t imagine not touching a piece of their life on a daily basis. These may be high hopes on my part, but do you get what I’m saying? If one of my kids had the evening off, and her husband was working, and my only plan was to go up to the casino—I would jump at the chance to meet up with her and her kids for dinner–ESPECIALLY after I just got back from a week in another country—I can go to the casino anytime, right? But apparently, this isn’t how all parents operate. Some value their own time. I’m just sayin’. (Jaded much, Sara? Bitter much?) Maybe I’ll feel different when I’m in my 50’s and my kids have lives of their own. But I can’t imagine that I will.

The work day has gone fast and soon I’ll be leaving to get the kiddos—apparently we will be dining on our own. Wish me luck in navigating the store with them!

P.S. thank you all for your comments on yesterday’s post. You all are the bomb digity!!

Not The Cool Mom

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CA’s gymnastics school is closing; Saturday is her last day. I’m torn in my feelings about it because she really enjoys it, and is really good at it (for an almost 3-year-old) but the mom’s were just really hard for me to deal with. So on one had its “poor CA!!!” and on the other it’s “Phew, I never have to see those women again!”

Out of the group, there are maybe two down-to-earth mothers. The majority of them are SAHM’s, but not the cool kind like you all out there; the kind that think working mothers are doing the world a disservice; that daycare is bad etc. I understood them not talking to me at first; I can seem standoffish to those who don’t know me. I am quiet in unfamiliar situations. Even in my adult life, it is hard for me to make friends. I get that. Not to mention that I refuse to get myself all made up on a Saturday morning to take my kid to gymnastics. It’s not a big deal. But at some point, I started feeling comfortable and when one of the instructors began speaking of her sister, who had delivered a “HUGE” 8-lb baby, I inserted that CA herself weighed 9”5 and that ED was 10”2. I then joked that the Bean probably already weighed 8lbs. I wasn’t met with the chorus of “Wow, that’s amazing!!” that I normally get, but rather mutterings of “all of my kids weighed about 5lbs” and “what did you have gestational diabetes or something??”. I felt like they may as well have said “shut up! You don’t belong here!!”

A few weeks later, a new mom joined and commented that her son didn’t want to leave; and he was the same at daycare. I talked a bit with New Mom, CA is the same way and blah blah blah, and a few minutes later was approached by “the ringleader mom.”

“So CA goes to daycare?”

“Yes, she and her brother both……”

“Hmmm, I just registered J for (prestigious) Montessori School for pre-k next year. We’re on the waiting list, but I won’t mind if she’s home with me another year. Where do you work?”

I tell her.

She looks at me like I told her I work at Pizza Hut or something. “And what do you do there??”

“I’m the Assistant Vice President in charge of …”

“Oh, how nice for you.”

For some reason I justify it by saying that Hub is self employed and is home with them 2 days a week.

“Oh, that’s nice for him……”


I’m not sure why I allow myself to be made to feel bad by these women. I am happy with our work/daycare/life balance. My kids are happy and well adjusted. I enjoy working and providing for them. I shook off her comments I returned to class the following week with a smile determined to ignore any comments that came my way. Thankfully none did, but I have to admit that when I heard The Ringleader telling New Mom that the parents usually go out for coffee and donuts after class, that it stung a little bit.

Not all of the parents go—some were never even invited.

The Beast Within

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In the back of my mind I have a vague recollection of ED turning in to a hell-child just before he turned three. Only bits and pieces stand out. I’m starting to wonder, if like the pain of childbirth, we forget our children being pains in the ass in order to further the human race.

That all being said, CA has been a real pisser lately. The attitude is unreal; as if she is a teenager! When I remind her of her manners I hear “I SAID GET ME JUICE!!!!” and she is throwing herself on the floor in these horrific fits when she doesn’t get her way. Yesterday she was nasty all night, having been placed in time out twice for hitting and pinching me as well as severely antagonizing her brother. She was out at one point, demanding her juice, when the cat wretched up all of his food on to one of my kitchen mats (centimeters from the actual floor where I could have just wiped it up……). I asked her to go and get me a few wipes from the bathroom while I poured her juice, and she readily obliged. I heard the toilet flush twice while she was away, but no bells went off for me, and I went about my business. It was only a short time later, when I needed to use the bathroom that I realized what she had been up to. The toilet was filled to the very top of the seat, and sticking out of the drain, was the entire container of wipes. I left the bathroom to ask her what she had done and was told “I just flushed some toilet paper!” I probed her again……”Just toilet paper???” “Yes Mama, and one wipe.” Sigh. “Just one wipe, CA???” “Well, one REALLY big one.”

This girl is going to be the death of me, I thought as I dunked my hand in to the bowl to fish out the clumps of wipes. At least they were still all folded together and we didn’t need to call a plumber.

Over the weekend, as she played with her brother and 2 boy cousins Hub commented that in his family, they always picked on his cousin R, the only girl, and that he was surprised how well the boys took to her. It was clear though that she was the alpha in that group—I turned to Hub and said “they wouldn’t dare to pick on her; she’d kick all of their asses.”

Indeed she would, this difficult yet extremely lovable child.

When she woke up this morning, and snuggled on my lap for a bit, she told me “bad CA stayed in bed; good CA is awake.”

I guess we’ll see what today will bring.

Friday Fun with a Twist!!

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Mommy Brain tagged me like 2 weeks ago for the 7 facts MEME which I have already done here, so I thought that I would give it a little twist. Here are 7 fun facts about each of my family members.


1. He has been in business for himself as a carpet cleaner for the last 7 years. As a previous “corporate whore” he says there is no way he could ever work for “the man” again.
2. He loves to cook and is really very good at it. His favorite thing to make me is broiled fish, which I love. But he ALWAYS forgets to buy a lemon.
3. He aspires to be handy around the house. His problem—he has no patience. He is getting better though.
4. He was a Theatre Major in college and acted in several productions.
5. He was also the stage manager for the college dance troupe.
6. He always read the paper while we are watching TV and I never tell him that it drives me crazy.
7. He is more family oriented than I ever thought he would be. He’s always the one to suggest fun family activities.

1. He weighed 10lbs 2 oz at birth; his cheeks were so fat they looked like they would fall right off of his face.
2. His favorite way to comfort himself is to twirl my hair around his fingers; he is a mama’s boy through and through
3. Like me, he is extremely over-sensitive and has a tendency to be shy until he knows people—then he will talk your ear off. It is very hard for him to be in awkward situations.
4. He and Hub’s dad are like kindred spirits or something. They are the best of friends. (It’s cute, but also annoying)
5. His first sentence, at 11 months old was “More corn please.”
6. Corn is one of the only veggies I can still get him to eat. He used to eat EVERYTHING. He is finally getting better though, especially if I let him help me cook.
7. He refuses to answer to his full first name (E.dmu.nd) or to write it out when his teacher tells him to at school. He’ll say, “No, there’s another D and an I and an E.”


1. She was covered in hair from head to toe at birth. I felt funny putting her in sundresses because of her hairy shoulders.
2. She is the best eating 2-year-old I know, asking for things like salad and fruit. When we go to a restaurant, she orders broccoli. The one thing she hates: tomatoes.
3. On her first birthday, she only had 2 teeth. She popped the rest of them last summer just before she turned two. I could tell when she was getting molars because she would run a high fever and throw up every time.
4. Like her father, she is very outgoing and talkative. For a two-year-old she has an amazing vocabulary. She really talks constantly.
5. Still like her father, (and not at all like me) she is a determined go-getter. She potty-trained herself in one day just after she turned 2, both day and night time. It was her decision, not ours. She has always been that way, doing what she wants when she wants to and doing whatever she can to get her own way.
6. When she is not talking, she is singing. She especially loves to sing in the car and will serenade us for hours on end. She totally gets this from me.
7. She also loves dancing and gymnastics. Her favorite dance: The chicken dance. Her favorite part of gymnastics: jumping on the trampoline and somersaults down the ramp.

More Random Crap

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CA has green goop leaking from her nose and right eye. It is not at all charming. She was up several times during the night and ended up in our bed after Hub left for work at 5AM. I’m waiting for a “post-naptime come and get your sick child what were you thinking sending her today” type of call from daycare.

ED will tell anyone of his love of “brown” and “pink” pop tarts. Sadly, Hub bought the wrong pink ones, strawberry instead of cherry. The frosting on the strawberry is white, making them “not pink”. I argued with ED about it being the same thing, and my last words before getting in the shower this morning were “It better be gone when I get out.” It was, and I asked him about it. Was it good, etc. I noticed there was no pop-tart mess on his face and questioned him further. He insisted it was “all gone”. I asked him to why there were no pop tarts in his teeth and was told “Because it’s all gone in the garbage can, not in my belly.” What kind of 4-year-old can play the semantics game? Mine can!!

We are grilling tonight, and I am excited. The weather has been great the last few days, and though it is dreary today, it is still warm. I’m going to be bitter when it sleets and rains this weekend.

Backtracking a bit, Hub took the kids to the children’s museum yesterday and spent a good 5 hours there. He called me several times with updates. My favorite one “This place is a haven for SAHM’s! I wonder if I could join the Mommy club!”

We’ve been having quite a bit of dialogue about what to do with the kids while I am on Maternity Leave. I think it’s important for them to continue with daycare—it won’t be any fun being cooped up in the house with baby and me all summer. When pre-school changes to summer camp in late June, we have the opportunity to modify their schedule until September without losing their MWF slot for the fall. The problem is that they would change over to 2 days per week BEFORE my leave (I plan on working thru 7/15) and they would change back to 3 days per week probably a full month before I am back at work. This whole business of not being able to hold our slots for us is a bit ridiculous. I get that they are in the business of making money, but seriously, come on.

We haven’t told them yet that we don’t plan on enrolling The Bean until she is a year old; when ED is safely in kindergarten. They are starting to look at me funny as I waddle through the halls with no mention of my pregnancy. Whatev.

Have I mentioned that we are considering traveling to Atlanta at the end of May? When I will be starting my 8th month of pregnancy? Oh yeah!! I wonder if it will be worse than VA was in June when I was pregnant with CA.

And finally, I found out late last night that the gutting of my kitchen is happening tomorrow. I am not at all prepared. Nothing like a little bit of notice!!

Oh, and a last minute FINALLY!! Hub just brought a Ford Edge by to see if we really could fit all 3 car seats in the back. WE CAN!!! It’s an 07 so I think we can get a pretty good deal. YAY! YAY! YAY! Next to the El Camino this is my dream car!!

The Rest of the Story

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My sweet daughter was pretending that the couch was a row boat on Saturday. At some point, she lost her balance, rolled off, and cracked her wrist on ED’s rocking horse. Hub and I were in the kitchen at the time, and FIL was in the living room with both kids. FIL insisted she wasn’t hurt; just scared, but I could tell by the way she was holding her wrist that something was wrong.

We calmed her down and got out the ice pack and got some M&M’s. She tried picking them up with the injured (left) hand and barely could. (She is left handed….both of my kids are……weird and recessive, but I digress) Hub asked her to squeeze his finger, and when she did, she screamed in pain. We decided at that point to go to the ER.

We do have a children’s hospital near us, but I find them to be dirty, and the wait is ridiculous, so we went to the hospital nearby, and thankfully, were pretty much in and out. Because of the baby, I could not be with her for the x-ray, so I was glad that Hub was with me.

By the time the x-rays came back, she was acting pretty normal and was even using the wrist a little bit. When the doctor said it was broken, I almost asked “are you sure??” but I restrained myself. His name was Dustin something or other, but he lost all credibility when every member of the staff called him Dusty, rather than Dr. SoandSo.

Anyway, they gave her a temporary cast, and sent us on our way. She is doing really well, enjoying wearing her brother’s clothes, since her sleeves are all too small to fit over her cast. Her only complaint is that it is itchy.

We are off to see the Orthopedic Doctor now, so I will update you when I have more info.

Thanks to all for your well wishes!