Hub was speaking to a customer today who mentioned that his 7-week old
had started rolling over. Hub told him that our 8-week old has not.
Customer asked him in all seriousness 'Well did your wife take
prenatal vitamins?' What a jackass. And if your question, like mine,
is whether or not Hub punched him in the face or told him off, the
answer is no. It's not just women! The menfolk play 'my baby is
smarter' too. I'm pretty sure that bringing my prenatal habits in was
a low blow. Ass.

As you embark on the amazing adventure that is marriage, I wish you
love & laughter. I wish you passion but also the calm that comes
along with knowing that THIS IS IT! Forever & always, through thick &
thin. My best to both of you, Saly

Here's a question: Let's say you are Facebook friends with a few
bloggers & through those bloggers you see other bloggers with whom
you'd consider yourself friends. There is still a degree of being
anon though in that you haven't personally revealed your last names to
each other. So is it weird or crossing a line to add them? One of my
bloggy friends was added in this manner & she is not ok with it. I
totally would be though-but I'm weird . So what would you think?
Presumptious? Or ok?

1. 3 weeks from today, I go back to work. On one hand, YAY!!! On the other….FAHK. Thinking of getting three kids out of the house in the morning frightens me to no end. Also, daycare can not take Liv until the end of October. So, double FAHK.
2. It was an interesting 5 days without Hub to say the least. The kids know I am not the disciplinarian, but for the most part were pretty good. The worst part of his whole trip was me having to handle his business. Calling stores to schedule cleaning?? Doing his banking??? Severe nervous tummy. And aren’t I on Maternity Leave? Here, I am not.
3. The kids and I spent Saturday evening with my parents. I have a whole post up in my head about my mother. And disappointment. And I’m afraid that typing it out instead of internalizing it will make my feelings too real. So, I don’t know, maybe coming soon? I don’t know if I have it in me. The visit was good though, the kids enjoyed their time there.
4. I had my post-partum checkup last week and all is well. I have to go back to get the Mirena. My fear? Having it puncture my uterus, which happens like, one in a million times. But still. I could be the one.
5. I am considering ending breast feeding. The baby is a piranha. I’m trying, and have been for more than a week hoping she’ll work out the nipple-shearing behavior. I am committed to pumping for as long as I can though.
6. I feel like I am losing readers due to my lack of commenting. Which actually sucks. So if you’re skimming, let me know you’re still here, kay? I am religiously skimming all of your blogs. ALL of them.
7. I took the kids in to work on Thursday to visit, which was nice. Until Lucy pulled down her shirt and flashed my entire department. I suppose it could be worse though, she could have pulled MY shirt down.
8. Speaking of Lucy, she starts her new gymnastics class this week, the one where I am supposed to drop her off and go on my merry way. Not sure how I feel about that. But she missed it so much over the summer, and when given the option for dance, Tae Kwon Do or gymnastics, she picked gymnastics.
9. I have a million things to do before Hub gets home, which include calling a restaurant manager and cleaning up so he doesn’t think we lived like pigs while he was gone.
10. So off I go….Kthanksbai!

I am in the basement with all three kids, enjoying that the computer is all mine for the next five days. Lucy is brewing coffee in her play kitchen and is filling my fancy mug from Swistle repeatedly. I tell her that this is the best coffee I’ve ever had, as I take a drink of the actual so-so coffee I’ve brewed and she tells me “It’s chocolate coffee Mama, I made it special for you.” She knows me well…a cup of actual chocolate coffee would probably make my day.

Up until a few days ago, when Lucy said “chocolate”, it was pronounced “cha-locket”. Suddenly though, she asked me for a cup of chocolate milk and “chocolate” was painstakingly pronounced correctly; I could tell she really had to think about saying it the right way.

I immediately burst in to tears, sentimentality and post-partum hormones getting the best of me. Hub laughed and rubbed my back for a second and commented that our little girl is getting so big. She is, you know. Now more of a person, her three-year-old self, than a baby or a toddler.

I don’t know what it is about this time of year that makes it seem like things change so quickly. The air is cooler and I’m taking stock of what I have in the way of warm clothes for the children, and gradually putting away sundresses and sleeveless tees. Yesterday, Lucy started pre-school, as opposed to plain old daycare. She is in Bud’s old room, with Bud’s old teacher and was seemingly ok when we dropped her off. Bud moved in to pre-kindergarten yesterday as well, a room where he will participate in show and tell and learn to write his full name, rather than his nickname. At he end of the day, both tell me that thy had a good day, though Lucy adds “but I did cry for you a lot, Mama.”

The baby changes every day too, showcasing her gummy smile and Michelin arms and legs. She pushes away from my chest and takes everything in, her eyes bright and inquisitive; mischievous even with prospects of what she’ll soon be able to get in to. Yesterday, when both of the big kids were laughing, she let out a tiny giggle.

Life goes by too fast.

Don’t wish their life away life away is some advice I was given when I first became a parent. Don’t think “I wish he could crawl”, “I wish she would start talking” or “I can’t wait until they are in school.” Everything happens in it’s own time, regardless of wishes.

My wishes tend to go unanswered though, after things have already changed, when I find myself wishing for just one more day with things as they used to be.

Do you think it's possible to have post partum rage as opposed to
depression? What do you think it means if I have dreamt of both of my
(deceased) grandmothers the past 3 nights? How is the baby 4 weeks
old already? How will I function when Hub is in CA next week? How
will I survive til Saturday when I get to go out by myself for the
evening?