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Questions for You!

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I need some distracting, ok? This seems like the time to ask some questions of you guys. Hopefully, you will indulge me with some answers.

  1. Next week, I am traveling on a plane, alone, for the first time ever.  Actually, I’ve only ever flown for work, and never for leisure, so I feel a little bit out of my element.  So tell me: what is on your “must have/must do” list when traveling? For example: do you bring a tasty snack? Buy something special in the airport? I know you have quirks.  Tell me.
  2. Speaking of alone time on the plane (sweet, sweet alone time), what is the best book you’ve read recently? I intend to finally finish Allegiant, but if I can’t do it, I’d like to have some back-up on my Kindle.
  3. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

Sucking it Up

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It’s not a secret that I’ve been less than happy with my job for a while. There are a lot of reasons–reasons that should not be put in writing necessarily–for my unhappiness and I have focused and dwelled and stewed about them pretty much since I returned from maternity leave. I’ve spent so much time stewing, in fact, that my work has taken a major nosedive. I don’t particularly want to be doing this work, so why do it, right? So, I’ve been plugging along, doing the bare minimum and sort of lazily checking out other options and not doing anything about them either.

I’ve finally snapped out of my stupidity in the last couple of weeks, in realizing that it’s obvious that the perfect job is not going to just come around and all that I’m really doing by not doing my best work is burning bridges and destroying my credibility. This seems like an incredibly adult realization to come to when I’ve been acting like such a baby.

The fact of the matter is that I have a really good situation happening here. I’m paid well, I get a lot of time off, I work from home, and my hours are flexible. So fucking what if what I’m doing right now isn’t my favorite. So fucking what if I’m no longer The Expert everyone comes to thanks to being shuffled and shuffled and shuffled again. So fucking what if it hurt my feelings when I wasn’t given a choice in where I was placed. It’s over and it’s done. I can’t change the past, so I need to focus on the future.

What it comes down to is that I am here, in this job and I need to make the best of it. I’ve given myself a pep talk, and I’m making a commitment to doing my job well. And in doing my job well, I intend to make myself the best at it regardless of my how I feel about the work itself–making lemonade, if you will. And having committed to it, and promising myself that I’m done slacking, actually makes me feel pretty good.

Being an adult is so much different than I thought it would be.

Health Kickin’ It…or not.

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Last summer after already being in a really good place weight wise thanks to the famous Twin Pregnancy Followed by Twin Nursing Diet, as well as seeing the results Ed had in following one of those fad type (though in his case totally done with help from a doctor) candida diets, I was motivated to do more and to get myself looking and feeling mighty fine. I was armed with Ed’s booklet but it turned out that I didn’t need to use it anyway.  I eliminated gluten and dairy completely from my diet and honest to Pete, whoever that guy is anyway, the weight melted off.

It wasn’t just the weight though. I felt phenomenal. I literally jumped out of bed at 5:30 every morning and went downstairs to work before the babies woke up for the day. I had tons of energy; I didn’t even want my coffee. My skin was glowing, my hair looked good, and I bought size 18 jeans for the first time since 2005. People stopped me to tell me that they could tell, and that made things even better.  It was awesome.

Except for when it wasn’t. As good as I felt, I really missed food.  I like food, like, really a lot, and this is the reason that I’m not one of those gluten and dairy free evangelists. I missed pizza. And bread and butter. I’d found really good gluten and dairy free sweet substitutions, but the savory good stuff was hard for me.  So, I don’t know, every other weekend or so, I would cheat. I would have a slice of pizza.  Or a chili dog. Or whatever, really.  And then I would spend the next day and a half in the bathroom, practically tethered to the toilet, which should have been enough proof that there was a problem with putting these things in to my body, but, eh.

Everything sort of went off the rails as we took our vacations this summer.  I wanted to eat like a “normal person” so I worked on building my tolerance back up so I could eat junk throughout both of our trips without say, pooping my pants.  My diet never recovered and I’ve spent the last 5 months saying that I’m going to get back in to it, and not doing it. I feel terrible, I’ve put weight back on  and once again my skin is a mess.

I’m not exactly sure what my problem is, or why I can’t break the cycle, especially because I’ve seen the results.  With dieting in the past, the results were so slow and I would lose hope before I’d even given things a chance. The gluten/dairy free thing was less of a diet and more of a lifestyle change. I’m struggling with why in the world I would choose to eat (tasty tasty) crap and feel terrible when I know what there is potential for.

I don’t really have a way of tying this together or closing this post.  I’m not even sure that this post serves a purpose other than me working things out of my screwed up mind. I do know that I need to pull my head out of my ass and do something. I guess I just need to get myself back to a place where I’m ready to commit to something. Whatever that something might be.

Thoughts on Twin Parenting, Months 9 and 10

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9 Months

9 Months

10 Months

10 Months

Holidays, man.  They really crept up and made everything crazy and in the midst, the babies have gone and turned both 9 AND 10 months old. Time is moving super fast around here, and so are these babies! No, seriously! they are like tiny Tasmanian devils!

I feel like a slacker because my brain is not really separating what happened in month 9 compared to month 10, so I think I’ll just talk about everything that has happened since I last updated.

Molly has earned the nickname Jolly Molly.  I have honestly never EVER met such a joyful baby.  Even when she had a double ear, sinus and eye infection, she was generally happy, shooting her gigantic winning smile at everyone she saw.  She mastered the butt scoot at some point and also loves to pull up on everything. (She has also started crawling in the last few days, but that’s more of a month 11 update.) She can easily get herself from any position to sitting and has finally decided that rolling is worth doing (before, she COULD, just just never really did) and does it often.  this has prompted the discovery of belly sleep and she is a big fan.

Gus has eased up a bit in the over-sensitive category.  He still most definitely prefers His People, but he doesn’t dissolve in to tears immediately when he sees someone new.  The exception to this is the end of the day at daycare, when other parents are picking up their babies. He pretty much hates them all. He is better about noises too, and I think a lot of that is that he is such a fan of making loud noises himself.  He remains sweet and cuddly and a total mama’s boy. He’s been mobile for quite some time, but started army crawling a couple of weeks ago and he is in to EVERYTHING.

Both babies have really taken to eating pretty much everything we eat, and it was a switch that happened out of nowhere, over Christmas break. they pretty much reject all purees at this point in favor of chewing real food. Favorites have been steamed carrots, blueberry waffles, green beans, macaroni and cheese, french fries, pizza and eggs. And of course, puffs and cheerios. Ed and I usually eat our dinner in the living room, and Ive taken to sitting on the floor to share with the babies and they climb all over me and try to take food out of my mouth unless we set their chairs up on the floor, so we’ve been doing that and it works out pretty well.

Both babies also said their first word, somewhere in month 9, and for both of them, it was “uh oh!”.  Molly was first, and Gussy followed a few days later. Now they have a handful of words. Molly says: uh oh, aaaaall done, and mama. She more relies on shrieks and gestures to get what she wants and also “sings” anytime she hears music. Gus is a bit more chatty and says: uh oh, more (usually before I’ve even put anything on his tray), mama, dada, Hannah (nana). Eddie, night night(as soon as I put his sleep sack on) and shhhh. Gus is also a really good mimic. If you tell him to say anything at all, he will repeat it both in tone and syllables. I’d wondered if the babies would talk early like the other kids, based on their prematurity and they seem to be just as much ahead of the curve as the other 3 were.  Apparently, I just raise talkers.

Month 9 and 10 Happenings:

  • Spent their first overnight at Grandmas’s
  • Gussy dislocated his elbow
  • Celebrated their first thanksgiving! They were pretty indifferent.
  • Both enjoyed their first (non-hospital administered) round of antibiotics for ear, sinus and eye infections.
  • Celebrated their first Christmas and REALLY enjoyed unwrapping things.
  • Became fully mobile
  • Started eating All the Food and they are Very Enthusiastic about it
  • outgrew all of their 6-9 month clothes
  • Have 5 teeth between the two of them (all 5 teeth reside in G’s mouth.  Poor gummy Mol.)

Month 9 and 10 Photo Dump:

20131109_115947 20131109_131035 20131114_194412 20131116_134830 20131116_195058 20131116_195314 20131120_090220 20131122_201343 20131122_201346 20131122_201356 20131123_121547 20131124_142025 20131127_091305 20131201_183955 20131204_085737 20131204_205133 20131204_214252 20131207_155058 20131208_130211 20131208_201357 20131211_085715 20131215_142902 20131215_142910 DSCN3707 DSCN3724 DSCN3725 DSCN3726 DSCN3730 DSCN3731 DSCN3732 DSCN3736 DSCN3737 DSCN3739 DSCN3740 DSCN3744 DSCN3745 DSCN3746 DSCN3748

Happier, Thinner, Richer. 2013 Recap

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1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
Had a c-section, gave birth to twins, parented 5 kids, went gluten and dairy free (for a few months)
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t make any due to pregnancy and newborns and all that goes along with all of that.  I will say though, that in 2012 pre-pregnancy and 2013 post-pregnancy I exercised and lost weight and was really very healthy.  I’ve sort of fallen off of that wagon, and would like to get back on it.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I did! And so many of my internet buddies! And lots of other friends!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nobody super close, per se.  We did just lose a friend to cancer though, and it sucks.

5. What countries did you visit?

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
Willpower to be healthy and take care of myself. A more fulfilling job.
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 1st, when the twins were born.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly? Not losing my mind (completely) when Gus was in the NICU and keeping it together through the twins’ first year.
9. What was your biggest failure?
This is a tough one.  I’m sure there were many minor failures, but no biggies stand out.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was hugely pregnant and had major surgery.  Pretty eventful if you ask me!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Not a thing, necessarily, but springing for a cleaning lady? Best thing I’ve spent money on by far.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine.  MINE, do you hear me??  I was rational at a lot of times this past year where I could have been totally irrational.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Nobody comes to mind.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Hospital Bills. Mortgage. Cars. Groceries. Baby gear.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
I never have a good answer for this question.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner. Losing 2 whole people helped with that.
c) richer or poorer? Richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping.  Oh god.  Not even close to there being another answer to this question.  I’m tired.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yelling.  This answer is the same every year.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
We started Christmas Eve with the babies at the doctor’s! 4 infected ears, 3 infected eyes, 2 sinus infections, and a partridge in a pear tree! Then to Ed’s cousin’s but not for long thanks to the sick babies. Christmas day we stayed home and my parents and brother came for dinner.  To my aunt’s the Saturday after Christmas.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
With these perfect babies, yes.  And with the rest of my family again as they interacted so sweetly with the twins.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Suits. Breaking Bad. Burn Notice.  White Collar.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
24. What was the best book you read?
I have no recollection of any of the books I read.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ylvis?? Not really.  I don’t think I’ve discovered anything new.
26. What did you want and get?
2 healthy babies. A cleaning lady. A hot tub.
27. What did you want and not get?
I can’t think of anything.  I don’t ask for much.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hunger Games
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35 and we took the big kids apple picking.  There was cake.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being independently wealthy and not having to work.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Yoga pants, pajamas
32. What kept you sane?
My Blog, The Twitters
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Adam Levine. RDJR, always.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Fucking Healthcare. Always.
35. Who did you miss?
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I met so many new Twitter folks!
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

I am actually pretty good at being a mom.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Quick(ish) Bits

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  • The babies turned 9 months old on the first. I have yet to do their 9 month post and photo dump. Slacker McSlacker Pants over here.
  • Eddie woke up last Tuesday screaming in pain. His neck was turned all the way to the right and he couldn’t turn it back.  How do I know it hurt?  Because he willingly took Advil.  Acute Torticolis was the diagnosis, and we had 3 visits to the chiropractor and 2 days off of school.  Young man got to watch a whole lot of Netflix. He’s mostly better now, but still, over a week later, a little bit stiff.
  • THEN! Friday night Gussy went off on one of his crying jags.  He does this on occasion, gets set off by something, and it takes a long time to calm him down.  He’s  a sensitive boy.  This happened while he was lying on the floor drinking his bottle, so I ended up rocking him while he screamed for 20 minutes and then finally passed out. Saturday morning though, I noticed that he wasn’t moving his arm. When I lifted it, he screamed.  When the pediatrician on call didn’t call me back within a half hour, Ed and I threw everyone in the car and drove there to get him checked out. It turned out that he had dislocated his elbow. Dr. said he thought it was back in, but sent us for xrays to be sure, and to make sure there was nothing else going on. (When we got in the car, Eddie confessed to making him clap, maybe a bit to aggressively, just before he started crying the night before.) Anywhooo, the radiologist confirmed that it was dislocated, and she gently twisted it back in to place, and within 3 minutes, Gus was a happy grabby baby again. thankfully, there were no other issues. We celebrated with a big pancake breakfast.
  • Saturday night was a  holiday dinner for all of our different community organizations, so my parents came out to watch the kids, and Ed and I went to that. It was ok.  Ed knows everyone in town, and I…don’t. But I got to meet a lot of people, drink 2 glasses of wine, and wear my red shoes, so I’ll call it a win.
  • Sunday was Cait’s winter dance recital. It was loooong, but she had a good time. Someone stole Hannah’s, Gus’s and my coats on the way out, so Ed was on a hunt to track them down. He found them tucked under a lady’s arm and chalked it up to a misunderstanding, but I’m not so sure. We had lunch at Red Robin, (and I swear Gus crammed 7 french fries in his mouth at once), and then we all came home and napped for 2 hours.  All 7 of us! It was maybe the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
  • Work is cleaning my clock.  I will be really glad when the holiday break starts. I feel like such a whiner, given that I took a nearly 6 month long maternity leave this year, but shit…I need a break. I’ll be glad to have all my vacation time at my disposal next year.
  • Are you on my Christmas Card list? If we’ve exchanged in the past, you definitely are! But if you aren’t and you’d like one, please send me your address!

Quick Bits

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  • Having a baby doppelganger still sort of catches me off guard sometimes. I mean:
  • facebook_12181355I have no idea what I am getting anybody in this house for Christmas, I haven’t thought about Christmas cards, and I haven’t started making the 2014 calendars yet. I need to get crackalackin.
  • I don’t really have a plan for Thanksgiving…except to not work for 5 straight days and to eat pie. I’m ok with this plan.
  • I woke up with a mild cold and scratchy throat business this morning and I’m really hoping it doesn’t get any worse. I don’t really have time to be sick.
  • My Favorite Things post is still open.  I’ve only gotten one entry on my survey, so it’s maybe not going to be as fun/helpful for everyone as I thought. But, you know.  If you are so inclined: here.