Category Archives: Uncategorized

Eating to feel full; Eating to gain weight

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It’s not a secret that I have struggled over the last 18 weeks to eat in general, and eat good things for that matter.  I didn’t really have the healthiest eating habits before I got pregnant to begin with.  I am one of those lucky broads who despite being overweight, has perfect cholesterol, triglycerides, sugar and blood pressure, and I generally eat more junk than I should.  I was also in a pretty good exercise regime before pregnancy (God, I miss Zumba), and put on quite a bit of muscle while losing almost 20 pounds over the course of about a year.

This all being said, I have never had a problem gaining weight in my adult life.  I gained 60lbs in the course of a year in my early 20’s while my thyroid issues went undiagnosed, and even once treated, I had to work my buns off just not to gain weight, much less lose it.  The first trimester of this pregnancy was a lot different than any I’d previously experienced though.  My nausea was out of control.  Even when I started taking Unisom, and it gradually got better, food just didn’t taste good to me.  I was completely uninterested in eating much of anything.  I did force myself to eat for the sake of the babies, but by the time my first trimester ended, I had lost 8lbs–and this was after consisting of mostly Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls for at least 2 weeks.

Second trimester hunger hit with a vengeance, but I’ve still struggled with food tasting good.  By now in all of my other pregnancies I was completely overcome with cravings.  Twinkies and root beer, strawberry frappucinos, and onions, for the record. This time though, aside from a few inklings for french fries and vinegar, I have nothing.  I guess I’m lucky that I don’t really have any aversions this time though too.  With Eddie, I could not eat anything that had tomatoes in it, and with the girls I couldn’t handle meat of any kind.  I’ve noticed that bacon tastes like ass recently, and while this is disappointing, it’s not a major disruption in my diet.  What I’m saying is that I can basically eat anything, it’s just that I don’t want to.

When I went in for my 16 week checkup, I had put 3lbs back on, so at least I am making some progress.  Since then, I’ve really been paying attention to what I’m eating.  I don’t think that I will have as much trouble with growing decent sized babies as other twin moms do because I’ve had 3 larger than average babies and my inner lady bits have been stretched beyond oblivion before.  I’m confident they will have room to grow; however, I don’t want to take too many chances, and I’d really like to put some more weight on sooner rather than later.

Of course, I don’t drink milk because I had a childhood allergy and never developed a taste for it, and I can’t eat eggs because they make me sick (unless they are baked in to things), so 2 easy ways to get dairy and protein are out the window. What has been working is some yogurt with fruit and granola in between breakfast and lunch, and drinking a carnation instant breakfast before bed.  Even though I am more of a lunch snacker, I’ve been making sure to eat an actual midday meal. I still need to do more, but these little extras are making me feel a lot better about getting some of the extra nutrients I need.  I’m also taking my prenatal vitamin, a vitamin D supplement, a calcium/zinc/magnesium supplement, extra folic acid, and fish oil, and trying to drink a crap ton of water.

I think I am on the right track here, even though it’s slow going.  I’m the type of person who lacks diligence when it comes to following a food plan, so keeping these babies in mind at all times is the only thing that is getting me through.  I’m used to 9 and 10 pound babies, but I am realistic that these 2 will be smaller.  I’m just hoping for the 7lb variety as opposed to the 4 and 5lb variety of small.  I guess we will see.

Snacks, ahoy!

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 17

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It freaks me out more than a little bit that next week, at 18 weeks, I could technically be halfway done with this pregnancy.  Can you even imagine? Babies here! In my house! 18 weeks from now! hopefully they’ll stay put a bit longer than that.

In other random thought patterns, I’ve been thinking about how I am going to feel to know without a doubt that there will be no more babies for us.  I know it now, but with these actual babies on the horizon, and the fact that I have absolutely no desire to EVER be pregnant again, I legitimately don’t care.  But once they are here, to know for sure that our family is complete–something I have never known before…I just wonder how weird that will be.

I got a letter from my insurance company on Saturday saying that after 12/31, my OB is no longer participating with my insurance plan. I can be grandfathered in due to the pregnancy it would seem by just filling out some paperwork, but I’m torn.  It might be a pain in the ass to switch, but I haven’t been overly thrilled with my level of care this time around.  It’s clear they are spread too thin as a practice.  Maybe I should switch.  Maybe I should find someone more specialized in twin pregnancy.  And, I don’t know why this has bothered me since in my previous pregnancies, I saw midwives and rarely an OB, but I’ve only seen the NP for my entire pregnancy so far.  I sort of feel like maybe I need some more attention.  Anyway, I will see my old OB next week at the hospital, and I’m going to ask for her thoughts and recommendations.

And speaking of next week, we will finally (FINALLY!) have our big ultrasound and know what kind of babies we are having.  I’m beyond excited.  I still have strong girl/girl feelings but it seems that the majority of people I know, Hannie included, think boy/girl.  I can’t wait to know for sure so we can do some real planning.  We still need to figure out our remodeling plan, so knowing what the family dynamic will be is sort of important.

I had my first experience of overdoing it this weekend.  I carried some boxes and bins I shouldn’t have on Friday, and then worked the whole night at our Fall Festival.  I came home and was in excruciating pain.  The same was true on Saturday, where I took it much easier, though did walk around for a bit at an expo where Ed had a booth.  It would seem that my umbilical hernia, that has never bothered me before, is being quite bothered as things stretch up past my belly button.  It only feels ok when I super take it easy, otherwise it throbs.  coupled with BH contractions, it is not at all fun.  Because of it all, I stayed home while Ed and the kids went to the pumpkin patch with cousins yesterday.  I felt kind of guilty missing out, but I really just needed the day to recuperate.

Finally, I wore my skeleton shirt on Friday night and got MANY compliments.  It was fun–I am usually a bit more reserved, so it was weird being on display, but I really like the shirt, and all the kids at school got a kick out of it.  I made Cait take my picture before we left for the evening.

 

Crappy Day Exchange Questionnaire

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So, things have changed a bit since I first answered R‘s original What do you want in your CDP questionnaire. For example, I have found myself knocked up with twins, and would maybe not choose a frivolous coffee drink to spend a random gift card on.  Actually, that might make me vomit.  So I thought I would update my answers now, in time for the last exchange of the year (and the last one I’ll be participating in for a while anyway).

This seems sort of gross, and like I’m telling someone the gifts they must buy me, but in the spirit of the exchange, and having hunted around other blogs for Information in the past, I’m just going to put it here.  Ok? Ok.

Let me first show you what my kids got me for my birthday last weekend, because it gives a pretty good idea of Things I Enjoy.

Exhibit 1, a good heavy mug:

 

Exhibit 2; a decorative mug.  The tan guy on the right is my new mug, a brother for the red guy I’ve had for a while.

Exhibit 3; some owl candles:

And now, the infamous questionnaire:

  • What is your favorite color? Pink, I think.  Deep red too.
  • What is your favorite season? Fall.  Always Fall.
  • What is your favorite treat? Chocolate, especially good dark chocolate.
  • What is your favorite scent? I’m weird about perfumes and lotions.  I like fresh, fruity/citrus smelling things.  Nothing overly sweet and nothing overly musky.
  • What is your favorite ice cream coping mechanism? Shopping for things I don’t really need.
  • What do you like to do in your free time moments? Read, for sure.  Watch TV.  Sleep.
  • What do you not enjoy doing, and why, but have to do anyway? I would pay a large amount of money to someone to come here and just wipe down the fronts of my kitchen cupboards, stove and fridge.
  • If someone gave you money with the instruction that you had to spend it on something frivolous for yourself, what would you buy? Maybe yarn?  I have aspirations of loom-knitting hats this winter.  A new purse or bag, nail polish or other beauty doo dads, warm socks, a scarf.
  • Do you have any decorating themes in your home/office? Our living room is pretty rustic, and we have a lot of owl/moose themed things.  My office is dark red with a mahogany desk–probably the most classy room in our house…when I have it cleaned up.
  • Is there something that you REALLY, REALLY like?  (Burt’s Bees, horses, cats, fairies, unicorns, birds, patriotic stuff, babies, chocolate, Diet Coke, etc….) I have a real thing for mugs of all kinds.  Heavy solid ones for drinking, and any variety for decoration.  I love all Burt’s Bee’s stuff (who doesn’t?), Vanilla Coke, and scarves.
  • What is the VERY! BEST! present you have ever received and why was it the best?  (The purpose of this question is to give people another idea of the sorts of things that make you happy.)  This answer didn’t change: My Kitchenaid Mixer. Ed told me he was never going to buy me one because it was expensive and I would never use it. Ever. And one Black Friday, he went out to “look for a computer” but came home with nothing. Later that day I opened my baking cupboard to find the mixer…I promptly burst in to tears. (I didn’t know it at the time, but I was newly pregnant with Hannah)Best gift ever, and I use it all the time.

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 16

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I started writing these weekly updates when I realized there was nothing, and I mean nothing in the way of blogs out there related to twin parenting.  I’m realizing that nothing I’m writing would be particularly helpful to anyone, so, FAIL. But it is a nice record for me, so there’s that.

My 4-month appointment last Thursday was interesting to say the least.  There was much talking about hip pain and forgetfulness and flu and pertussis vaccines.  I got the flu shot, scheduled the pertussis for my next appointment, was assured that I do not have early alzheimers, and got a prescription for  a belly brace to alleviate the hip pain.  Then she started to listen for the heartbeats.

Baby B was cooperative.  She found the healthy heartbeat immediately, and it stayed strong for as long as she kept the doppler on my right side.  Baby A proved to be…difficult.  She kept catching a trace of the heartbeat, and then it would move.  She couldn’t tell if she was still hearing Baby B, or if this was definitely Baby A.  Every time she pressed on my belly, A pressed back.  We could hear the wiley little thing wiggling in there.  Finally, in an odd angle under my left hip, we got a good and solid read on Baby A.  I wasn’t nervous because I could feel the movement, and feel it pressing on the doppler.  The dr. was on a mission though, I am telling you.

She was less concerned than I would have imagined over my weight gain, or lack there of.  I did put on 3lbs since my last appointment, but am still under my pre-pregnancy weight.  She thinks the babies are just fine.  I am eating around the clock it seems though, and I think I should be gaining more.  I guess at this point, I’m hoping the extra weight I was carrying anyway will be enough.

I spent way too much time on Friday going to medical supply stores to find my brace.  One place had it, and said they accepted my insurance.  When I got there, they did not.  The next place said they had it, but they actually had a different one that alleviates vag pressure and not hip pressure, so they sent me to another store.  This place had it and accepted my insurance, but my entire insurance company was in a meeting, apparently, and she couldn’t get through.  She ended up letting me take the brace, and called me that evening after finally getting through to my insurance company.  They covered 80%, so I only had to pay $14 for the illustrious Prenatal Cradle. And it works! It makes my hips feel a whole ton better, though when I completely threw my hip out on Sunday, it was no help at all.   That’s ok though.  It got me through apple picking over the weekend, and I’m sure it will be helpful as I accompany 60 2nd graders to the pumpkin farm tomorrow.

Ed and I are back on the Melissa discussion, not that we know if either of the babies is a lady baby.  Yesterday, he finally said what I knew he’d been thinking–Melissa is the name of his dead sister (she died at birth when he was little), and he wants to use the name to honor his (both deceased) parents. I don’t think I feel strongly enough against the name to compete with that reasoning, though we did have quite a debate about it last night.  I was surprised to find that he thinks that I was the one who named the girls–I did suggest each of their names, but he was fully on board.  I consider that naming together.  And we each chose one of the girls’ middle names.  So anyway, he is on the “I name one baby and you name one baby” train, and I just don’t really know if I care anymore.  Maybe I should just find an acceptable and somewhat current nickname for Melissa, and be done with it.

In any case, we will have the big reveal and know what the babies are 2 weeks from today, and as much as I really feel at this point like they are both girls, I’m going to try and not think about names at least until then. (Ha.  Hahahahaaa.)

On Child Spacing and Growing up in General

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My kids.  They are big.  It’s hard to remember that they aren’t so little when we’re at home, all in our regular routines.  There’s playing, and bickering and whining.  But then Eddie says something so completely obnoxious, I am reminded that at nearly nine, he is dangerously close to that pre-teen territory. Or when he chooses to watch sports instead of whatever is on Disney after school.  Or the fact that even though he prefers a kiss an hug (and a quick twirl of my hair, a habit from when I nursed him) and for me to tuck him in, he is perfectly capable of putting himself to bed at night.

It’s not as noticeable with Cait, though at 7  with some older family friends as role models she is ever the fashionista and drama queen.  She feeds off of drama in a way that really makes me scared for the teen years.  She is quick to shout that nobody likes her or that she never gets what she wants.  And yet, she is the most thoughtful and sensitive of all the kids.  Whereas Eddie and Hannah got up yesterday morning and demanded breakfast, Cait snuggled up to me, wished me a happy birthday, and asked me what I wanted.

And then there is Hannah, who admittedly, I have a tendency to baby.  She is my (current, anyway) baby.  She is the most ornery soul I have ever met, difficult for the sake of being difficult, and the reason we were pretty sure we were done having children.  She hates to sleep, hates to eat, hates to be told anything. She’s a scrapper and loves a good fight. But the other side of her personality is so dynamic.  She is very matter of fact, she can hold her own in a conversation with any adult (when she was 2, her daycare teacher told us that she was bored when Hannah wasn’t around because having her there was like having another grownup to talk to.), she predicts the future and is usually and very creepily right.  She has an amazing imagination and can entertain herself with her doll house or little people for hours.  HOURS. What is the old nursery rhyme? When she’s good, she is very very good, but when she’s bad, she’s horrid.

Anyway–my point is that none of these kids are babies anymore, which is a good thing considering that we will have 2 actual babies in the house in, oh, 4 to 5 months.  It’s hard for me to accept though.  This picture of Hannah from the weekend is what set me off.  I was all bent out of shape about her sitting alone on the train ride in the apple orchard.  Convinced that the train would jerk and she would fall, or that she would launch herself out the window just as we were crossing the pond.  And then I saw this.  She is most definitely not a baby.  She’s a kid!

This all leads me to the subject of child spacing.  Before I had kids, and even when I just had one, I had it all figured out.  I would have 2 close together, and once they were old enough to be in school, I’d have 2 more, also close together.  Each would have an instant playmate, we’d not have insane childcare bills, and it would just be perfect.  Eddie and Caitlyn being 19 months apart, to me, was the best thing ever.  Eddie was still little enough that he didn’t feel too disrupted to have a baby in the house.  Cait was just so chill that it didn’t matter if I had to ignore her for a few to deal with a tantruming Eddie.  They were instant playmates, and while they have a tendency to be at each others throats these days, they were and still are the best of friends.

Hannah came a bit sooner than we’d planned–Caitlyn turned 3 just after she was born.  I’d have waited a bit longer if I’m being honest, but having a ages 4, 3 and a newborn was ok.  There was definitely jealousy from Cait when Hannah was little, and there still can be today.  What I’m realizing though is that 3 years apart, is the perfect amount of time between sisters.  Cait shares her makeup and dresses Hannah up.  They enjoy playing together, especially when Eddie is involved in boy stuff.  They fight like sisters too though with hair pulling, scratching and many tears.  I never had a sister, so this is an interesting dynamic for me to watch.

Soon we will add our final babies in to the mix.  Hannah will be close to 5 when they arrive and it’s so much like starting over.  I worry about how the one who has been babied will transition to being the middle child.  I  worry about the big kids feeling like they will have even less of my attention.  I worry about a lot of things actually.  The spacing seems right though.  I never thought I would have 5 kids.  In fact, for all of my planning, I was sure I was done with 3.  But adding 2 more now seems right.  It will be tough at the beginning for sure, especially as the older 3 will be right in the middle of spring activities with summer on the horizon.  Age wise though, I don’t think we could be in a better spot.

Obviously nothing has worked out the way I planned, but somehow I think  it’s all working out just right.

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 15

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This was supposed to post yesterday, when I was still 15 weeks, instead of today when I am 16 weeks.  WordPress was being a turd though, so here it is today.

I think I’ve finally gotten that pregnancy glow.  Here are exhibits A and B.

I feel pretty good, is what I’m saying, and I think it shows.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have a long list of complaints but I’m trying to be positive.

The babies are very wiggly now, and I can feel them higher up in my belly.  I am hungry 24/7 and nothing really satisfies me, or tastes really good even.  But I am eating, and according to my scale at home, I’ve finally gained 2lbs.  We’ll see what the dr’s scale says on Thursday.

Yes, Thursday.  My 16-week appointment, and the dreaded flu and DTAP shots.  2 kids in Hannah’s school have already had pertussis this year though, so as much as I don’t want it, I’m going to get it.  And I will surely proceed to whine about it later.

I have a whole list of complaints for my doctor which include shortness of breath, hip pain and locking, and extreme forgetfulness.  All things I’m sure she will tell me to just suck up, but I think are worth mentioning anyway. I also want to ask how long I can realistically expect to work and be up and around.  Only because of the sheer girth of the belly already–I just worry that it will be sudden, and I’ll run out of time to do things.

Of course, I will probably forget to ask all of these questions.

We added to our growing arsenal of baby gear and have 2 brand new (matching, obviously) car seats.  I feel really good about having the gear.  Really, we just need a place for them to sleep, and clothes and we will be as set as we are going to be.  I’ve also started research in to cloth diapers, with the help of Marie Green.  This is overwhelming, but so cost effective especially when we are talking about 2 babies and $40 on disposables a week. I’m determined to muddle through.

I believe I have made Ed see the light in the Melissa discussion.  If he gets to have full naming rights of 1 baby, then so do I.  And that means that if it is 2 girls, I get Georgia.  He feels strongly enough against Georgia to give up on Melissa, and so I think he finally gets it.  Although this means that I definitely lose Georgia, it’s still a win.

I think that’s about it for this week.  We’ve made it to 4 months! We’ll know who these babies are in just a few weeks! It is going quite fast.

Autumn Through the Years

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In the Fall of 2005,Ed, a very small Eddie, Baby Cait and I took an impromptu trip to Letchworth State Park. Ed and I had been going for years, usually around my birthday, and even though it was freezing, we just needed to get out of the house that day. Ed happened to take Eddie’s photo on some stairs. The next year we happened upon the same stairs (not an easy feat…this park is GIGANTIC–I think it spans like 30 miles??), and took a photo of Eddie and Caitlyn together. And just like that, a tradition was born. We’ve taken the kids’ photos every year in October since 2005. It has been 40 degrees, and it has been 80 degrees. In 2008, Eddie and Caitlyn dropped poor baby Hannah on her head (stellar parenting having a 3 and 4 year old hold a 3-month-old on a set of stone stairs). Hannah refused to cooperate in 2009—I think to get back at us. I love how each year, things change but they also stay the same. Can you even imagine next year’s photo?? I am weepy just thinking about it all.

Some of you have seen these all before (minus 2012, of course). I know; but I can’t help myself. Here are the photos:

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

And a 2012 bonus—

15 Weeks! Pictures!

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I can’t believe it! I’ve taken a few pictures over the last week.

The first is a frontal shot of my belly while sitting at my desk, because I couldn’t believe how big it looked.

This is a picture of my very luxurious pregnancy hair.  I washed it, ran a brush through it and let it air dry.  This is just how it looks.

Finally, this  is a full length shot of me from last night.  I have worn and loved these jeans through all of my pregnancies, making them almost 10 years old.  LOVE. I tend to believe that I look better pregnant than not.  I’ve got those babies in there stretching out all of my flab.  I look a bit more than 15 weeks, wouldn’t you say?

Although, this was me with Hannah at 15 weeks…I think I might have been bigger! I still have that shirt; I should try it on for comparison.

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 14

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When you think of it in terms of “14 weeks down, 26 to go!” it really doesn’t seem like it will be all that long before the babies are here.  26 weeks is not that long at all.  Half a year.  6 months.  Coupled with the fact that they will likely come early…well, it will be  baby city up in here before we know it.

I’m starting to really feel pregnant.  Braxton Hicks contractions have started, and I am not surprised as I have had them sooner and sooner each time; however, I am surprised at how easy it is for me to be feeling fine and then something as innocuous as grocery shopping will knock me on my ass for hours.  I am used to this happening in say, the mid to late third trimester, but most definitely not in the beginning of the second.  It’s beyond not cool.

My hips have also returned to their usual jacked up pregnant state, again, earlier than usual.  I’ve taken to sleeping on the couch a lot of the time because I can position myself in a way where they do not lock up.  I tend to wake up with a headache in the morning, but I think being able to walk trumps headache.

I worked 2 shifts at my consignment sale this weekend, and thankfully after an hour or so of organizing racks of clothes each time, I was relegated to sitting positions.  Being around tons of moms though…man did it ever provide opportunity for getting some assvice.

“Prepare to be done working by week 20…” I work from home, so I think I’ll be good longer than that. “Well, maybe 25 weeks then…” Are you a doctor?

“Set up a bottle station in your room so you don’t have to make bottles in the middle of the night…” I plan to breastfeed :Looks at me in sheer horror: “Well, God bless you then…”

“Make sure you get them on the same schedule!”

Are you prepared to never sleep again?”

“DO TWINS RUN IN YOUR FAMILY?”

“Are these naturally conceived twins?”

There were more comments, but thankfully, my head exploded and I did not hear them.  The audacity of people, I am telling you.

As far as the babies go, I am feeling more kicks rather than just squirms.  Still not the consistent able to count on kicks, but kicks just the same.  I know they are in there.  they are particularly active when I am in the car, and when I am eating.  It’s fun.

Ed came home from work on Saturday and made a sweeping declaration that if one of the babies is a girl, we are naming her Melissa.  I…well, I looked at him like he was crazy.  His reasoning is that he had a sister who died at birth named Melissa–a good way of honoring his parents, and that it was our mutual friend Melissa who introduced us.  Honor all around.  I’m not going to say that Melissa is a bad name.  I think it’s a fine name, actually.  You know, for someone in their late 20’s to mid 30’s.  Ed has a cousin named Melissa, we have our friend Melissa, I work closely with 2 Melissa’s AND not closely, but in conjunction with 3 more.  And also? The NP I’ve been seeing at my OB office?  Melissa.  He is standing firm on this.  He’s only named one of our babies (the one he named after himself!!), and while we agreed on the girls’ names I was the one who suggested them (though he likes to bring up that I insisted on Cait’s middle name {Renee}when he was against it.  He doesn’t seem to remember that Hannah’s middle name was Grace until he told everyone it was Lynne in the delivery room).  I sort of feel I’m at a loss here.  His reasons are good. but I feel like I would turn in to one of those crazy people who would say “You can name her that, but I am not calling her by that name.” It’s tough.  I know what it feels like to feel very strongly about a name and have it be shot down (Georgia, anyone?). But I just don’t know if I can be on board with Baby Melissa unless we somehow teleport back to the early 80’s.  Or if it’s 2 girls, maybe I’ll name the second one Jennifer! (Not really…)

But anyway…good things! It’s October! We have our regular appointment next week, and the big sonogram is the 30th! It won’t be long before we know exactly who is in there! Hannah still says one boy and one girl.  Ed and I have both had strong feelings that it’s 2 girls for the last few weeks.  And at this point in the name discussion, I would be lying if I said I was not praying for boys.

Friday Free for All

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  • I shopped our huge consignment sale yesterday, and for the grand total of $101 and change scored a double snap and go, two (2) bouncy seats and two (2) swings.  For the 2 babies who will inhabit this house in six (6) months or so.  And if that doesn’t make you OMG I do not know what will.
  • I also bought clothes and boots and coats for the other kids and Niece and scored some newborn diapers for 5 bucks, and 2 boxes of my favorite breast pads.  consigning man…it’s where it’s at
  • I’m actually getting ready to go work my shift at the sale right now.  I need to put on some makeup.  I love love love working it though.  Not enough where I would ever consider going back in to retail, but enough where I enjoy doing it for 8 hours 2 times a year.
  • The monthly assembly at school today…PTA was recognized and since El Presidente was not there, I got to stand up and be recognized in front of the whole school.  Twice. So that was fun, and not at all my worst nightmare.
  • I am so pleased to be back in the world of coffee drinkers, (in moderation, i promise!!) I cannot even tell you.