The girls, (and some of the guys) who work with and for me are all very open about their bodily functions. We know everyone’s cycle, about gas and yeast infections…you name it. One of our favorite topics of conversation just happens to be pooping. I don’t know why, we are just enamored with pooping.

There is a stigma around here about pooping at work—at least among the girls. Guys, as you know, have no shame. The majority of people don’t feel like anyone in their right mind should be taking a crap in the same bathroom as 10 other women. I know, it’s not an ideal situation. But seriously?

There are several people here who can’t poop anywhere other than their own bathroom. One goes so far as to say that she can’t even go on vacation. She spends entire weeks miserable and holding it. Then again, she won’t even fart in front of her husband.

Others feel free to poop with reckless abandon. Wherever, whenever, they just go.

Where do you fall in?

A. Sara, I feel very uncomfortable with this line of questioning, please knock it off and write something about your kids or something.
B. I can only poop behind closed doors in the privacy of my own home
C. If I have to go, I have to go. Deal with it.
D. I actually plan on pooping at work, or better yet, at someone else’s house so that I can keep my toilet clean and save on the cost of toilet paper. The less cleaning, the better.

I’d also like to know if you fart in front of your significant other.

Here is my opinion:

I will not go out of my way to poop at work, however, should the need arise; I will not inconvenience my body so that you are not offended. I will however, go to the bathroom at the other end of the building where I am less recognized, and use an intricate pattern of flushing and air freshener spritz to disguise what I am doing all the way down there in the handicapped stall. I will probably wait until the bathroom is pretty close to empty before I exit. On the farting—I’m a firm believer in that if my name appears on the mortgage, I am entitled to pass gas anywhere in my own home. The car too.

Well, I hope your eyes aren’t bleeding from reading this or anything………but it had to be said.

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Thursday’s seem to be the days when I write some sort of retrospective. I really want to write about my wedding, but that is better suited for a photo entry. Unfortunately I was married prior to the rampant use of the digital camera, and therefore, I need to scan my photos. The good new: Scanning them was my pregnancy project when I was gestating Eddie!! The bad news: I only made it through the ceremony photos before I either got bored, or decided that my time was better spent consuming mass quantities of Twinkies and Mug Root Beer. I would place bets on the latter. What I’m getting at is that our goal was to throw a kick ass party, and I can’t really tell the story without the awesome reception photos. The reception was complete hysteria and the best party I’ve ever been to…..I will surely tell you about it soon.

For today though, I’ve decided to copy something I read over at dreamgrrl’s which I think is kind of fun.

10 Things I Liked as a Teenager but Don’t Really Care For Now
1. Talking on the phone for hours and hours
2. Breaded chicken patties on buns with mayo
3. having more friends than I could count
4. wearing my dad’s flannel shirts
5. VANS sneakers which I had decorated with pen and marker
6. Dying my hair green with a bingo marker
7. Being obnoxious on purpose
8. shopping for clothes at the Salvation Army
9. wearing hats
10. hanging out at the mall, at least 3 times a week

10 Things I Did Not Like as a Teenager but Do Like Quite a Bit Now
1. Getting up early
2. yogurt
3. being somewhat productive
4. spending time with my family
5. grocery shopping
6. working out
7. camping
8. learning from my mistakes
9. a good glass of wine
10. fancy shoes

10 Things I have Never Liked and Likely Never Will
1. Wearing jewelry
2. doing anything with my hair other than washing and brushing
3. wearing make-up
4. going to the bank or post office
5. ketchup on anything but hotdogs, hamburgers, roast beef, or mac and cheese
6. painting my fingernails
7. cleaning, or any type of housework (you would have died if you saw my room when I was growing up. DIED.)
8. peas. Blech.
9. The History Channel
10. Participating in any sort of sport (unless it’s darts.)

10 Things I Have Always Liked and Probably Always Will
1. Watching more television than any human should be allowed to watch
2. Silly Teenie bopper movies (High School Musical, anyone??)
3. burying my nose in a good book
4. Burger King Whoppers
5. Coffee—have been an addict since I was 14
6. singing, alone or in groups (does anyone want to be in a band with me?)
7. church
8. Planning future baby’s names
9. dry and ridiculous humor
10. Writing

If you are here today, regardless of whether or not you read my blog daily, or just happened upon it, please leave me a comment. I’d like to know who visits.

Here are a few questions to answer for me….

How did you get here? Another blog? Am I in your reader? Did you google something crazy like ketchup in goulash? (That brings a lot of people over.)

What is your position on babies and pacifiers?

What is your favorite television show and why?

What is your favorite song at the moment?

I will answer my own questions. I had/have a blog on another site. No, you can’t read it….but I began blogging here after reading Catherine Newman’s blog

I am not a fan of the paci. At all. My kids never used them. (Cait sucks on her blankie though) Ed and I both felt strongly about not shoving a plug in our child’s mouth, which is not to say that is what most parents do, but you have to admit, it’s out there. I have a hard time seeing a 4-year-old with a binky as well. It drives me nuts.

Favorite TV show…..right now? How I Met Your Mother. I love it like no other. And also Samantha Who, it’s very smart and funny.

Favorite Song at the moment: Matchbox 20, Let’s See How Far We’ve Come. LOOOVE It!! It’s so catchy. A bit trendy fr my usual taste, but like I said, LOOOOVE IT!

Ok, so please de-lurk. All of you!

1. Ahh, everyone is writing about their weddings. I need to write a wedding post, I imagine. It would need photos though, and those are housed at home. So, another day.

2. A few people questioned my writing of “I feed a family of 5” yesterday. Maybe I’ve never clarified that my FIL lives with us. He is retired and we buy the groceries. He watches the kids enough where it is a wash. He’ll pick p the occasional loaf of bread or gallon of milk, but he figures in to my grocery budget as much as anyone else.

3. Today is one of those days where I’m dying to have another baby…and I’m not even ovulating. It’s just that everyone around me seems to be so deliciously pregnant. And I’m jealous. I don’t think it would go away even if I had 5 kids. Humph.

4. Today is Tuesday which means that Ed is home with the kids. He’s trying to cut down a tree in our back yard that was already dying, but was destroyed by last year’s October storm. I’m not sure how that will all work out, but here’s to hoping.

5. It’s 60 degrees today but I am bundled in my sweater. This cold just will not go away. And I think I have pink eye, or at least the beginning of it. Good thing I sandbagged drops from last year. I’ve been loading myself up all day.

6. I’ve already eaten my lunch but I’m very hungry. Nothing even sounds good though.

7. Ok, let’s take my depressing butt out of here. Maybe a happy wedding entry tonight.