Author Archives: Sara

Catastrophizing (not a word)

Posted on December 13, 2012 by Sara

By nature, I am not someone who puts much stock in worrying about situations before there is a definite outcome in sight.  As a rule I don’t see the point in causing myself stress when it is anybody’s guess as to what will happen.  This frustrates people, namely my mother and my husband, who would prefer to hash out all possible scenarios of a particular situation and prepare to deal with all of them.  It probably comes off as being lackadaisical on my part, but really, I just tend to be careful about expending my emotional energy.

Knowing the above, you will understand that it was completely out of character for me to go in to full catastrophe mode yesterday when my OB merely suggested that a c-section could be in my future. Until I hashed a ton of it out on Twitter with Arwen, the only words that I heard over and over again were “Likely c-section.  Likely c-section.” They were on repeat, over and over again for the better part of the day. I have clarity now though, so let’s start at the beginning.

This was my first appointment with the actual OB during this pregnancy.  Until now, I’ve seen the NP each time.  NP is great.  Really, the 2 OBs and the NP in this practice are phenomenal.  They took me in with no questions asked about halfway through my last pregnancy after the practice of midwives I had used disbanded.  I have had nothing but fantastic care from them, and I credit their monitoring and really paying attention to my history with Hannah being my only baby who was not hypo-glycemic at birth and the only one who did not visit the NICU. While Eddie was only there for a short while, Cait’s birth and NICU stay scarred me, and scarred me horribly. They listened to my every concern and we came up with a plan together for a healthy birth and healthy baby Hannah, and it worked. But anyway…the NP doesn’t do most of the deliveries and may have led me on about having very good chances of a vaginal birth.

Ed came with me yesterday just on a whim, and of course was keen on discussing the delivery. OB wanted to anyway since she hadn’t seen me. She started off with “So, you know that if both are head down, you are good for vaginal.  Anything else, we usually do a c-section.” To which I replied “NP said if baby A was head down we are good to go.” This resulted in a long discussion.  And I am glad there was discussion even if I failed to remember most of it until the beating of the words probable c-section left my head last night.  So, here is what the OB said:

  • If I don’t go in to labor on my own, I will be induced or have a c-section at 38 weeks–March 13th ish, which is um…13 weeks away.
  • I have a proven pelvis and can likely handle a vaginal birth regardless of Baby B’s position.
  • I have a history having large babies.  If the twins get too large, it is entirely possible to have my uterus completely give out–regardless of my history, there is only so much stretching that can be done.
  • If she were placing bets, she would bet on my carrying the babies to 38 weeks.
  • I have a history of very fast births (Eddie, with pitocin: labor total 9 hours (4 hours was pushing out his giant 10lb head), Cait, no pitocin: labored for maybe 3 hours, and Hannah- full induction: labor lasted 5 hours) If I went in to labor on my own with these 2, the situation could go bad very quickly. Basically, once my water breaks, my babies come full force.
  • I should be prepared that no matter what kind of birth it is, it will not be warm and fuzzy, but rather monitored, chaotic, and will occur in the operating room with her, the hospital specialists and a team for each baby standing by.
  • Even if Baby A flies out with no problems, I could find myself having a c-section to get Baby B out, giving me 2 types of recovery to worry about.
  • Based on all of this, she is committed to playing it by ear and using the sonograms and the direction of the fetal specialists I see at the hospital for the scans to make an educated decision about what kind of birth I will have.
  • I want what is best and safest for the babies first, then what is best for me. She feels the same.

So that is where we stand.  Do I feel better about it all today than I did yesterday? I do.  I am not against scheduling induction as long as I have a say in the way it happens–that is how it worked with Hannah and it was fine.  I don’t particularly want to schedule a c-section.  I don’t want to recover from surgery while being responsible for 2 newborns.  I just don’t. BUT if their position or the state of my uterus or whatever warrants it, I will accept it.  I’m not saying that I won’t panic, but I will accept it.

For the next several weeks though, I’m going back to my usual M.O. I’m simply not going to worry about it, because worrying doesn’t matter.  The result will be what it will be regardless of my fretting.  The result needs to be healthy babies (and healthy me) regardless of how we get there.

SO! Brisk clap! I am done here! Whatever will be will be.

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Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy–Week 24

Posted on December 11, 2012 by Sara

My ultrasound last week revealed that while Baby Girl is settled straight up and down on my right, Baby Boy is lying directly on top and perpendicular to her, stretched across the top of my belly and under my ribs.  This makes so much sense! It’s no wonder I can’t breathe! And all the while I thought Baby Girl was so much more active because I always feel the kicks on my upper right, but really, it’s both of them kicking me in the same spot.  Brats already! Who knew!

The ultrasound also revealed that Baby A (Girl) was head down, and although it’s still to early to put much if any stock in that, it has me hopeful.  Both babies weighed just under 2lbs which is a bit large for an average 24-weeker, but we all know that my babies are far from average in size, so I am really not surprised.

Again, we got some great profile shots of Baby Boy but Baby Girl is wily, and we got nothing.  Baby Boy still looks very much like his brother in profile.

I took a picture of myself on Friday at 24 weeks 2 days.  I don’t know why I look crabby, but I really wasn’t.

24weeks

I’ve been going back and forth between having a lot of energy and being positively exhausted.  I have moments where I feel like I need to wash all the baby clothes, and I’ve been reigning that in.  Too soon, yet.  Not until I’m ready to pack a hospital bag.  Another month or so, I would say. Besides, I have no place to put the clothes once they are washed, so it would really serve no purpose.

My goal for this week is to make a list of the things we still need to buy.  It’s mostly small stuff…bottles, burp cloths, onesies, socks etc.  All things that will have to wait until after Christmas, but I will feel better having them documented.

We backpedaled a bit on Baby Boy’s name yesterday…well, I didn’t but Ed sort of did.  He’d been making comments about people’s reactions to the name, the most common of which has been “Like the beef??”.  He’s afraid that I can’t handle it.  So he came home yesterday and suggested Patrick and I just sort of side eyed him, and he left, asking me to think about it.  After tweeting about it and then having a lengthy lunchtime conversation with Ed about it, we are going to keep the name.  He asked how I honestly felt when he suggested Patrick in the morning, and I told him that I felt like I would regret not using the original.  This is most definitely our last chance to name a baby, so let’s do it, I say.  And we are.

So that’s about it for 24 weeks.  So close, yet so far away.

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Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 23–I think we’ve named our babies

Posted on December 3, 2012 by Sara

Here is a picture of me at 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant with Hannah:

39weekshannah

Here I am at 23 weeks and 1 day with the twins:

23weeks

I am starting to get nervous.  The amount of stretching going on here is unfathomable to me.  And to think that we have (realistically) between 12 and 16 more weeks to go…well, it scares me.  Pants of any kind are starting to get on my nerves.  Walking around for any period of time causes my belly to become uncomfortably tight.  Furthermore, I can barely type around it anymore, which is an issue.

I have a sonogram on Friday, to check growth, and then my regular doctor’s appointment next week.  This starts the rotation of all medical monitoring all the time, to include more blood work, gestational diabetes testing, more sonograms, more appointments and the like.  It is probably close to time for me to stop working, but I’m not mentally there yet.

We’ve made a pretty good dent in our newborn sized clothing, which pleases me.  The new cloth diapers I ordered arrived on Friday, and once I receive the next set of used ones I have coming, we should be set.  The beds will arrive this week too.

It is all happening so fast.

Last week, I had something of an epiphany regarding our girl’s name.  It was a name that was on our list for Eddie, had he been a girl and was one that hat trickled in and out of discussions through the years.  About an hour after this train of thought, Ed sent me a text that was one word: Molly, to which I replied “???” and he said “Your daughter?” and I burst in to tears, because this was the name I had been thinking about earlier.  And just like that, she was named and I felt really good about it.

On Friday, Ed told me he had thought of an equally good boy’s name but he wasn’t going to tell me in the hopes that I would think of it too.  Long story short, I did not think of it, but on Friday night he told me and asked what I thought.  I was kind of shocked, not because I don’t like the name, but because it seems out of the ordinary for something Ed would like.  I was also moderately nervous about the reactions we would get from family and friends if we chose it.  Then, on Saturday while I waited for the girls at gymnastics, I took to Twitter and asked what everyone thought, if it seemed weird with our other names and so on. By this time, I was feeling that the baby WAS this name, but I just needed some help getting there, and help I got.  I came home and told Ed that I was pretty sure it was our baby boy’s name.  The name is Angus, with a nickname of Gus.  And I sort of love it.  Ed decided to try the names out on his family that evening. and of course, the reaction  was not what I wanted.  They thought he was joking.  One person said “Well it’s not important if *I* like it…”, and while it’s not really important, I struggled with knowing that they all went home and probably snickered about it a bit. And again, Twitter helped me through.  And nobody even mentioned the Colonel Angus SNL skits, that my husband thought would be funny to bring up. So many people had such nice and positive and EFF EVERYONE else thoughts. And Temerity Jane even pointed out that MacGyver’s first name was Angus, and is my family too good for MacGyver? (No they are not). Anyway what I’m getting at is that I think we are going to take the punches and move forward with Angus, regardless of the cow references, and regardless of anything or anyone else.

I especially like how Angus coordinates with Edmund, and that neither name has been in the top 1000, um, ever.  Molly coordinates with the girls in the same way–though it is a little less common–it is on par with the popularity of their names.  And I think they all work well together, and nobody shares an initial, and nobody is named Obedient (If you don’t know my last name, you are lost…sorry). I like that they all give off sort of the same vibe.  I am pleased.

Hannah is very upset that we cannot name them Mickey and Minnie.

I have not told my mother either of the names yet.

Of course, the babies need to stay put for quite a while longer, but I finally feel prepared for all of this.  As prepared as one can be anyway.  Babies! With names! And gear! I think I say something like this every week, but this really is happening! Can you believe it?

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Places where I routinely get in to fist fights (in my head)

Posted on November 28, 2012 by Sara

I like to think that I am an easygoing person.  I am a laid back person by nature.  Dealing with the general public sometimes gives me the rage though, and it is usually in the same few places.  Sometimes it’s intentional on their part and sometimes it’s not, but people should really work harder at not being assholes.

So, where do I get in to these imaginary altercations?  I will tell you!

  1. The Grocery Store: People seem to have no sense of anyone (or anything) except themselves. When I am out and about I am always conscious of staying out of the way, following some general rules, and being mindful of those around me.  Is the aisle super packed? Then I’m going to inch my cart off to the side, grab what I need and keep moving.  I will not, like so many others, angle my cart across the aisle and stop traffic while I grab 250 cans of green beans, send a text message and rifle through my purse.  No I will not.  Similarly, if I cannot find what I am looking for, I will stand back out of the way and scan the shelves until I find it.  Note that I am NOT standing directly in front of the shelves blocking several item while I run my fingers along each row to see if I can find what I am looking for allowing nobody else to grab an item from the shelf.  No, I stay out of the way so that others can do their shopping.
  2. The Tim Horton’s Drive-Thru: Our local coffee shop is on a corner, so there are 2 entrances on 2 different streets.  This results in people entering the drive-thru either straight on from the main entrance, or having to drive around the building and enter the drive-thru from the corner of the building.  I almost always enter from the main entrance and while sometimes there are no cars ahead of me, other times there are 4 or more.  Sometimes when the car in front of me is at the speaker, a car will swing around from the other entrance, and shoot me dirty looks when I don’t let them in.  One person even yelled at me to “take turns!!” like I was in preschool.  Here’s the thing–if I just waited in line for 5 minutes, I am not obligated to take turns when you just got here.  Pipe down!
  3. School Events: My husband and I (and 3 other ladies) run our parent teacher association.  We’ve been involved now for 4 years and are in our 2nd year on the board.  We get that many if not most parents don’t have the flexible schedules we have and cannot be involved in every single activity. Most parents though will donate, or come to a few meetings, or even volunteer for a half hour at some event at some point during the year and are always thankful for all we do as an organization for the kids. There are a few though who complain no matter what the event, no matter what the cost is, no matter what we do.  One parent went on and on to me at an event about what they would have done if they were in charge, and how we could be doing things better.  Please! Please chair an event! Please come to a meeting and give us your ideas! Please! But no, it’s easier to complain obviously.
  4. The Street Exit of the Daycare Parking Lot: There is a 2 lane exit here, one to turn left on to the very busy street, and one to turn right, plus a one lane entrance in to the parking lot from the busy street.  I could tell you how many times I’ve almost been hit (MANY), while waiting to make my left hand turn out in to the busy street because the jackhole turning in from the street takes their own turn too wide and ends up just barely missing me in my CORRECT lane. But what actually makes me mad is how these jackholes actually look at me with pure rage on their faces  as if I am the one in the wrong.  Like I am the one who is in the wrong lane.  This past summer, a man yelled at me from his window “JESUS LEARN TO DRIVE!!” to which I yelled back “I’M IN THE RIGHT LANE, ASSHOLE!!” to no avail (and yes, my kids were in the car).  Last week a “gentleman” actually stopped next to me and stared me down with a hatred in his eyes that I could not believe.  I…well, I didn’t say anything to him. My point though? I’m being punished here, for following the lines and arrows in the parking lot.  And everyone else in the world is stupid.

Where do you get in to imaginary fist fights?

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Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 22

Posted on November 27, 2012 by Sara

I actually remembered to take a picture this week.  It’s a bad one, but it’s a picture, just the same!

The Belly.  She is big.

The past week has seen me spend a lot of money.  I bought 24 cloth diapers, a wet bag and 2 travel bassinets (not that we are traveling, but they are small enough to have 2 in our bedroom) with Cyber Monday deals yesterday.  I spent a ton of money at Hanna and Carters on 0-3 sleepers and whatnot.  I’ve bought 2 used carseat weight snowsuits and 2 used JJ Cole carseat cover thingamabobs, because it occurred to me that it will likely still be winter when we bring these kiddos home. Anyway, we now have all of the big things we will need, and I am not doing any more shopping for the babies until after Christmas.

In the way of how I’ve been feeling, I would say pretty good.  I have the same complaints as last time–especially the arms and hands falling asleep because OMG, but generally, I feel good.  Thanksgiving really wiped me out, but by mid day on Friday I was up for some shopping. My big goal was to still be able to walk when it came time to go cut down our Christmas tree, and we went on Saturday.  It was rough, but I made it.  And I made it through a day of decorating as well.  I’m not sure if I will do as well when it comes time to take all the shit down, but we will see.

I dreamed last night that somehow each baby’s blood vessels fused with the other’s and I had to have procedures so they could be fixed and have blood transfusions while they were still inside of me.  It was creepy and has me worried about my sonogram next week.  Though I know deep down that everything is ok, I can’t help but worry.

It’s hard to believe that we have so little time to go before there are babies here.  I’m trying to make the time slow down but it’s not working/it’s hard to not want it to speed on by when I’m miserable.  But! Another week counted, and another week closer to happy and healthy babies.

I’m so darn excited.

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Thoughts on Twin Pegnancy-Week 21

Posted on November 20, 2012 by Sara

It is now hard to type around my belly, for it is large.  Quite large for having so much longer to go, as someone pointed out to me yesterday afternoon.  Oh, how nice and sensitive people are.

I’ve taken to sleeping upright on the couch because of heartburn and hip pain, and my legs cramping in the worst way in the bed.  I also roll involuntarily to my right side when in bed, and then wake up unable to breathe.  My arms, wrists and fingers fall asleep no matter where I sleep.  It is as much fun as it sounds.

Ailments above as well as a no-good unfair cold aside, I am feeling pretty well.  I’ve found that wearing my running shoes helps to keep me upright long enough to get some housework done.  I’ve been slowly accumulating baby items and making lists of things that we need.  Yes, things have been good.

We can feel the babies, especially Baby Girl, kicking on the outside of my belly now.  The kids usually aren’t patient enough to wait for it, but Hannah has felt Baby Girl a couple of times now.  Baby Boy resides a bit behind his sister, so he mostly kicks her, I think and I’ve decided that this is why she must kick me so hard.  He’s pissing her off! Sibling fun already.

We found out last week that my cousin and his wife are expecting their 4th baby in the late spring.  I am thrilled for them, and also pleased that we have some family crossed over to the large family side.  We really aren’t crazy!

Well, we might be crazy.  But not because of the number of kids we have.

I guess things are pretty uneventful in the way of a weekly update.  I didn’t even get around to taking a picture last week.  I’ll make sure to get one this week. Unless you’re going to tell me that I am way too big…but you guys wouldn’t do that, right?

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Sponsored Post: Have you heard about Treat from Shutterfly?

Posted on November 19, 2012 by Sara

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Today and tomorrow (11/19 and 11/20), Treat is offering one free greeting card to bloggers and blog readers.  All you have to do is enter promo code TREATBLOGR to take advantage.

So go and check it out today! and brand that partners with Shutterfly is sure to impress.

 

**I was compensated for writing this post but all opinions are my own.**

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Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy–Week 20

Posted on November 13, 2012 by Sara

**Just a quick note–my Shutterfly giveaway is open through 11:59 Eastern tonight!)

Man, making it through 20 weeks seems momentous somehow.  Officially half way there, even though we actually may be more than half way.  Babies who continue to be  healthy, feeling generally good. I just…I feel so blessed to be here, regardless of how miserable I may be in moments.  I am here.  Carrying 2 babies. Healthy babies even after the complications and bleeding and sheer terror at the beginning.  And I am healthy too, and I just feel like nothing else really matters, you know? I can be miserable, sure, but the rest is what’s important.  My babies.

My 20 week OB appointment was yesterday, and aside from getting my (HOLY OW!) Tdap shot, it was chock full of information.  We hadn’t talked at all about delivery so I wanted to get that out there.  I may labor in an OR regardless of the babies’ positions.  Their preference is to have both head down for an attempted vaginal delivery. Because I have been successful in my 3 previous births, if only Baby A is head down, I will be allowed to try for a vaginal. If Baby A is breach, regardless of B’s position, it is c-section city. Or, if I prefer (I don’t) I can just opt for a c-section regardless of the positioning. This gives me a lot of hope.  Obviously, I want what is safe for the babies, but if I can make it without surgery so I don’t have to worry about that recovery on top of dealing with 2 newborns, I’m there.

Time will tell, of course.  I am on schedule for a scan every 4 weeks for the next 8 weeks, and then we will be on every 2 week appointments and scans going forward to make sure that one baby isn’t crowding the other, to keep an eye on positioning, placentas, and fluid. And if we make it that far,the last 6-8 weeks will have me on a weekly schedule for all of the above plus stress tests. It’s all so technical with twins, and I am glad for my peace of mind.

I’ve also finally gained weight–9lbs in the last 4 weeks to be exact–and while I wouldn’t want that to be the monthly trend for the rest of the pregnancy, I’m glad that we have seemed to round that corner.  And no wonder my hips are sore–that’s a lot to put on in the course of a month. But good.  Especially since I am not craving anything in particular…just All the Food.

We talked a little bit about work, and me being sore and uncomfortable. Basically, I get to say when enough is enough, BUT if I am too uncomfortable to sit in a chair in front of a computer, then it is likely time for modified bed rest. Those aren’t really my favorite words. I think I will work through the end of the year at the very least.  I have something like 12 vacation days to use between now and then anyway, so I can make it.

It was a good appointment, and next month, I will finally see the doctor instead of the NP–which isn’t to say that I have a problem with the NP–my midwives at my 1st 2 births were NPs–but I do feel better having the doctor involved as we get into the riskier side of things.

So! 20 weeks down! This is good!

Except for still having no names.  Nope…none at all.

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Holiday Cards from Shutterfly-Sponsored Post with Giveaway!

Posted on November 9, 2012 by Sara

Christmas is one of my very favorite times of the year.  Since Ed and I got married, I’ve delighted in sending cards every year to our family near and far.  Since having kids, I’ve really enjoyed sending photo cards.  It’s a fantastic way to send a snapshot of our family and show off how the kids have grown through the year.

For as long as I’ve been sending them, my Holiday Cards have come from Shutterfly.  Whether you want just one photo, a few, or an entire collage of photos, Shutterfly has the Christmas card for you.  I start planning my cards in October or November, just to give me time to play around with all of the options they offer.  Once I find the perfect card, it’s easy to be on my way.  I just add my favorite photos, crop if necessary, add our Christmas message, and just like that, I am on my way! It could not be easier.  Once I’ve placed my order, the cards and envelopes are in my hands within a few days and I can begin the hard work–addressing them all.

My favorite photo cards give me room for a picture of my 3 kids together, and an individual shot of each one.

Here are a few I am considering for this year:

Big Fat Joy:

Colorful Joy:

Always Merry:

You can see how you can’t really go wrong with Shutterfly.  I’m already eyeballing cards for next year when we’ll have photos of 5 kids to contend with!

Now for the fun part! First, be sure to check out Shutterfly’s Special Offers page.  This page shows you all in one spot, all of the discounts and deals Shutterfly has going on.

Second, are you interested in giving Shutterfly a try? Shutterfly has offered me a promo code for one lucky reader to receive $50 off an order of $50 of more (excluding tax and shipping). To enter, leave me a comment below telling me one of your favorite Christmas or Holiday traditions. The Giveaway will close on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 at 11:59PM Eastern Time.

I am pleased to have been asked to host this sponsored giveaway from Shutterfly for the third year in a row.  In return for this post, I am being given $100 off of my own card order, so I’d like to give a great big thank you to the folks at Shutterfly. Honestly though, even without the offer, I’d be purchasing my cards from Shutterfly, and telling anyone who would listen.

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NaBloPoMo Day 8- 2 photos

Posted on November 8, 2012 by Sara

Super quick update today, because work is sucktastically busy.  I’m really looking forward to the 3 day weekend (and the fact that my boss is making hers a 5 day weekend).

 

Photo the first-

Cait wanted to take my picture the other night, and Hannie wanted to be in a picture with me wearing my “zebra shirt”.  Bonus? She hides my big bum. So here I am at 20 weeks.  Large and in charge.

Photo the second-

A big contender for going home outfits for the babies.  They have 2 owls! It’s perfect! They may not have names, but they will be dressed!

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