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Category Archives: Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy–Week 25

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I’ve discovered that it gets hard to keep track of the weeks when you have a definite end date that does not add up to 40 weeks of pregnancy.  Anyway…week 25, for posterity because I am super sick and also because it’s too hard to type on my laptop around my belly from my sick  bed.

Eddie took this pic on Sunday when I was juuuuust starting to really feel like turds:

25 weeks

So, more next week, sleep for now.

Catastrophizing (not a word)

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By nature, I am not someone who puts much stock in worrying about situations before there is a definite outcome in sight.  As a rule I don’t see the point in causing myself stress when it is anybody’s guess as to what will happen.  This frustrates people, namely my mother and my husband, who would prefer to hash out all possible scenarios of a particular situation and prepare to deal with all of them.  It probably comes off as being lackadaisical on my part, but really, I just tend to be careful about expending my emotional energy.

Knowing the above, you will understand that it was completely out of character for me to go in to full catastrophe mode yesterday when my OB merely suggested that a c-section could be in my future. Until I hashed a ton of it out on Twitter with Arwen, the only words that I heard over and over again were “Likely c-section.  Likely c-section.” They were on repeat, over and over again for the better part of the day. I have clarity now though, so let’s start at the beginning.

This was my first appointment with the actual OB during this pregnancy.  Until now, I’ve seen the NP each time.  NP is great.  Really, the 2 OBs and the NP in this practice are phenomenal.  They took me in with no questions asked about halfway through my last pregnancy after the practice of midwives I had used disbanded.  I have had nothing but fantastic care from them, and I credit their monitoring and really paying attention to my history with Hannah being my only baby who was not hypo-glycemic at birth and the only one who did not visit the NICU. While Eddie was only there for a short while, Cait’s birth and NICU stay scarred me, and scarred me horribly. They listened to my every concern and we came up with a plan together for a healthy birth and healthy baby Hannah, and it worked. But anyway…the NP doesn’t do most of the deliveries and may have led me on about having very good chances of a vaginal birth.

Ed came with me yesterday just on a whim, and of course was keen on discussing the delivery. OB wanted to anyway since she hadn’t seen me. She started off with “So, you know that if both are head down, you are good for vaginal.  Anything else, we usually do a c-section.” To which I replied “NP said if baby A was head down we are good to go.” This resulted in a long discussion.  And I am glad there was discussion even if I failed to remember most of it until the beating of the words probable c-section left my head last night.  So, here is what the OB said:

  • If I don’t go in to labor on my own, I will be induced or have a c-section at 38 weeks–March 13th ish, which is um…13 weeks away.
  • I have a proven pelvis and can likely handle a vaginal birth regardless of Baby B’s position.
  • I have a history having large babies.  If the twins get too large, it is entirely possible to have my uterus completely give out–regardless of my history, there is only so much stretching that can be done.
  • If she were placing bets, she would bet on my carrying the babies to 38 weeks.
  • I have a history of very fast births (Eddie, with pitocin: labor total 9 hours (4 hours was pushing out his giant 10lb head), Cait, no pitocin: labored for maybe 3 hours, and Hannah- full induction: labor lasted 5 hours) If I went in to labor on my own with these 2, the situation could go bad very quickly. Basically, once my water breaks, my babies come full force.
  • I should be prepared that no matter what kind of birth it is, it will not be warm and fuzzy, but rather monitored, chaotic, and will occur in the operating room with her, the hospital specialists and a team for each baby standing by.
  • Even if Baby A flies out with no problems, I could find myself having a c-section to get Baby B out, giving me 2 types of recovery to worry about.
  • Based on all of this, she is committed to playing it by ear and using the sonograms and the direction of the fetal specialists I see at the hospital for the scans to make an educated decision about what kind of birth I will have.
  • I want what is best and safest for the babies first, then what is best for me. She feels the same.

So that is where we stand.  Do I feel better about it all today than I did yesterday? I do.  I am not against scheduling induction as long as I have a say in the way it happens–that is how it worked with Hannah and it was fine.  I don’t particularly want to schedule a c-section.  I don’t want to recover from surgery while being responsible for 2 newborns.  I just don’t. BUT if their position or the state of my uterus or whatever warrants it, I will accept it.  I’m not saying that I won’t panic, but I will accept it.

For the next several weeks though, I’m going back to my usual M.O. I’m simply not going to worry about it, because worrying doesn’t matter.  The result will be what it will be regardless of my fretting.  The result needs to be healthy babies (and healthy me) regardless of how we get there.

SO! Brisk clap! I am done here! Whatever will be will be.

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy–Week 24

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My ultrasound last week revealed that while Baby Girl is settled straight up and down on my right, Baby Boy is lying directly on top and perpendicular to her, stretched across the top of my belly and under my ribs.  This makes so much sense! It’s no wonder I can’t breathe! And all the while I thought Baby Girl was so much more active because I always feel the kicks on my upper right, but really, it’s both of them kicking me in the same spot.  Brats already! Who knew!

The ultrasound also revealed that Baby A (Girl) was head down, and although it’s still to early to put much if any stock in that, it has me hopeful.  Both babies weighed just under 2lbs which is a bit large for an average 24-weeker, but we all know that my babies are far from average in size, so I am really not surprised.

Again, we got some great profile shots of Baby Boy but Baby Girl is wily, and we got nothing.  Baby Boy still looks very much like his brother in profile.

I took a picture of myself on Friday at 24 weeks 2 days.  I don’t know why I look crabby, but I really wasn’t.

24weeks

I’ve been going back and forth between having a lot of energy and being positively exhausted.  I have moments where I feel like I need to wash all the baby clothes, and I’ve been reigning that in.  Too soon, yet.  Not until I’m ready to pack a hospital bag.  Another month or so, I would say. Besides, I have no place to put the clothes once they are washed, so it would really serve no purpose.

My goal for this week is to make a list of the things we still need to buy.  It’s mostly small stuff…bottles, burp cloths, onesies, socks etc.  All things that will have to wait until after Christmas, but I will feel better having them documented.

We backpedaled a bit on Baby Boy’s name yesterday…well, I didn’t but Ed sort of did.  He’d been making comments about people’s reactions to the name, the most common of which has been “Like the beef??”.  He’s afraid that I can’t handle it.  So he came home yesterday and suggested Patrick and I just sort of side eyed him, and he left, asking me to think about it.  After tweeting about it and then having a lengthy lunchtime conversation with Ed about it, we are going to keep the name.  He asked how I honestly felt when he suggested Patrick in the morning, and I told him that I felt like I would regret not using the original.  This is most definitely our last chance to name a baby, so let’s do it, I say.  And we are.

So that’s about it for 24 weeks.  So close, yet so far away.

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 23–I think we’ve named our babies

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Here is a picture of me at 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant with Hannah:

39weekshannah

Here I am at 23 weeks and 1 day with the twins:

23weeks

I am starting to get nervous.  The amount of stretching going on here is unfathomable to me.  And to think that we have (realistically) between 12 and 16 more weeks to go…well, it scares me.  Pants of any kind are starting to get on my nerves.  Walking around for any period of time causes my belly to become uncomfortably tight.  Furthermore, I can barely type around it anymore, which is an issue.

I have a sonogram on Friday, to check growth, and then my regular doctor’s appointment next week.  This starts the rotation of all medical monitoring all the time, to include more blood work, gestational diabetes testing, more sonograms, more appointments and the like.  It is probably close to time for me to stop working, but I’m not mentally there yet.

We’ve made a pretty good dent in our newborn sized clothing, which pleases me.  The new cloth diapers I ordered arrived on Friday, and once I receive the next set of used ones I have coming, we should be set.  The beds will arrive this week too.

It is all happening so fast.

Last week, I had something of an epiphany regarding our girl’s name.  It was a name that was on our list for Eddie, had he been a girl and was one that hat trickled in and out of discussions through the years.  About an hour after this train of thought, Ed sent me a text that was one word: Molly, to which I replied “???” and he said “Your daughter?” and I burst in to tears, because this was the name I had been thinking about earlier.  And just like that, she was named and I felt really good about it.

On Friday, Ed told me he had thought of an equally good boy’s name but he wasn’t going to tell me in the hopes that I would think of it too.  Long story short, I did not think of it, but on Friday night he told me and asked what I thought.  I was kind of shocked, not because I don’t like the name, but because it seems out of the ordinary for something Ed would like.  I was also moderately nervous about the reactions we would get from family and friends if we chose it.  Then, on Saturday while I waited for the girls at gymnastics, I took to Twitter and asked what everyone thought, if it seemed weird with our other names and so on. By this time, I was feeling that the baby WAS this name, but I just needed some help getting there, and help I got.  I came home and told Ed that I was pretty sure it was our baby boy’s name.  The name is Angus, with a nickname of Gus.  And I sort of love it.  Ed decided to try the names out on his family that evening. and of course, the reaction  was not what I wanted.  They thought he was joking.  One person said “Well it’s not important if *I* like it…”, and while it’s not really important, I struggled with knowing that they all went home and probably snickered about it a bit. And again, Twitter helped me through.  And nobody even mentioned the Colonel Angus SNL skits, that my husband thought would be funny to bring up. So many people had such nice and positive and EFF EVERYONE else thoughts. And Temerity Jane even pointed out that MacGyver’s first name was Angus, and is my family too good for MacGyver? (No they are not). Anyway what I’m getting at is that I think we are going to take the punches and move forward with Angus, regardless of the cow references, and regardless of anything or anyone else.

I especially like how Angus coordinates with Edmund, and that neither name has been in the top 1000, um, ever.  Molly coordinates with the girls in the same way–though it is a little less common–it is on par with the popularity of their names.  And I think they all work well together, and nobody shares an initial, and nobody is named Obedient (If you don’t know my last name, you are lost…sorry). I like that they all give off sort of the same vibe.  I am pleased.

Hannah is very upset that we cannot name them Mickey and Minnie.

I have not told my mother either of the names yet.

Of course, the babies need to stay put for quite a while longer, but I finally feel prepared for all of this.  As prepared as one can be anyway.  Babies! With names! And gear! I think I say something like this every week, but this really is happening! Can you believe it?

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 22

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I actually remembered to take a picture this week.  It’s a bad one, but it’s a picture, just the same!

The Belly.  She is big.

The past week has seen me spend a lot of money.  I bought 24 cloth diapers, a wet bag and 2 travel bassinets (not that we are traveling, but they are small enough to have 2 in our bedroom) with Cyber Monday deals yesterday.  I spent a ton of money at Hanna and Carters on 0-3 sleepers and whatnot.  I’ve bought 2 used carseat weight snowsuits and 2 used JJ Cole carseat cover thingamabobs, because it occurred to me that it will likely still be winter when we bring these kiddos home. Anyway, we now have all of the big things we will need, and I am not doing any more shopping for the babies until after Christmas.

In the way of how I’ve been feeling, I would say pretty good.  I have the same complaints as last time–especially the arms and hands falling asleep because OMG, but generally, I feel good.  Thanksgiving really wiped me out, but by mid day on Friday I was up for some shopping. My big goal was to still be able to walk when it came time to go cut down our Christmas tree, and we went on Saturday.  It was rough, but I made it.  And I made it through a day of decorating as well.  I’m not sure if I will do as well when it comes time to take all the shit down, but we will see.

I dreamed last night that somehow each baby’s blood vessels fused with the other’s and I had to have procedures so they could be fixed and have blood transfusions while they were still inside of me.  It was creepy and has me worried about my sonogram next week.  Though I know deep down that everything is ok, I can’t help but worry.

It’s hard to believe that we have so little time to go before there are babies here.  I’m trying to make the time slow down but it’s not working/it’s hard to not want it to speed on by when I’m miserable.  But! Another week counted, and another week closer to happy and healthy babies.

I’m so darn excited.

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy–Week 20

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**Just a quick note–my Shutterfly giveaway is open through 11:59 Eastern tonight!)

Man, making it through 20 weeks seems momentous somehow.  Officially half way there, even though we actually may be more than half way.  Babies who continue to be  healthy, feeling generally good. I just…I feel so blessed to be here, regardless of how miserable I may be in moments.  I am here.  Carrying 2 babies. Healthy babies even after the complications and bleeding and sheer terror at the beginning.  And I am healthy too, and I just feel like nothing else really matters, you know? I can be miserable, sure, but the rest is what’s important.  My babies.

My 20 week OB appointment was yesterday, and aside from getting my (HOLY OW!) Tdap shot, it was chock full of information.  We hadn’t talked at all about delivery so I wanted to get that out there.  I may labor in an OR regardless of the babies’ positions.  Their preference is to have both head down for an attempted vaginal delivery. Because I have been successful in my 3 previous births, if only Baby A is head down, I will be allowed to try for a vaginal. If Baby A is breach, regardless of B’s position, it is c-section city. Or, if I prefer (I don’t) I can just opt for a c-section regardless of the positioning. This gives me a lot of hope.  Obviously, I want what is safe for the babies, but if I can make it without surgery so I don’t have to worry about that recovery on top of dealing with 2 newborns, I’m there.

Time will tell, of course.  I am on schedule for a scan every 4 weeks for the next 8 weeks, and then we will be on every 2 week appointments and scans going forward to make sure that one baby isn’t crowding the other, to keep an eye on positioning, placentas, and fluid. And if we make it that far,the last 6-8 weeks will have me on a weekly schedule for all of the above plus stress tests. It’s all so technical with twins, and I am glad for my peace of mind.

I’ve also finally gained weight–9lbs in the last 4 weeks to be exact–and while I wouldn’t want that to be the monthly trend for the rest of the pregnancy, I’m glad that we have seemed to round that corner.  And no wonder my hips are sore–that’s a lot to put on in the course of a month. But good.  Especially since I am not craving anything in particular…just All the Food.

We talked a little bit about work, and me being sore and uncomfortable. Basically, I get to say when enough is enough, BUT if I am too uncomfortable to sit in a chair in front of a computer, then it is likely time for modified bed rest. Those aren’t really my favorite words. I think I will work through the end of the year at the very least.  I have something like 12 vacation days to use between now and then anyway, so I can make it.

It was a good appointment, and next month, I will finally see the doctor instead of the NP–which isn’t to say that I have a problem with the NP–my midwives at my 1st 2 births were NPs–but I do feel better having the doctor involved as we get into the riskier side of things.

So! 20 weeks down! This is good!

Except for still having no names.  Nope…none at all.

Thoughts on Twin Pregnancy-Week 19

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Seriously, I could type one sentence and it would describe the past week: My belly…it is large. Beyond large even.  I don’t even know how I am going to make it 3 or 4 more months with all the growing that has to happen.

Generally though, I’ve felt pretty good–extreme hip pain aside.  They’re starting to do that clicking in and out of joint thing that they did late in my pregnancy with Hannah, and it is not the most pleasant thing I have ever had to deal with.  But I keep telling myself that the babies are healthy.  And this is the very last time I ever have to do this, so really I should just suck it up. Sucking it up can be hard though.  I am trying.

I ordered and received some nursing bras this week, and it was just in the nick of time as I was busting out of everything else.  I also ordered 4 shirts from 4 different spots on the website, and I must have really liked them, because aside from the colors, they are all the same shirt.  Pregnancy brain in full effect, my friends.

Ed and I read through the entire index of The Baby Name Wizard last weekend.  We agreed on nothing.  He continues to suggest names of family members…not because of a personal affection for said family members, but because he likes the name.  I suggested that these names are very familiar to him and that is why he thinks he likes them and he basically pish poshed that idea.  He also sugested Forrest for the boy, and honestly, I can’t even talk about it anymore.

We’ve decided as a whole that we’re not comfortable with the full blown shower concept.  Little parties to celebrate? Sure.  But I can’t get on board with asking people to buy me things when these are not my first babies, and it’s not as if I donated our other baby gear out of the kindness of my heart.  I sold that shit for cash money.  Which isn’t to say that I won’t graciously accept gifts, because, duh–I’m not an idiot, but I’m not going all out with a full blown registry.

We’ve decided on our short term remodel plan, which is to take over Eddie’s room, which was FIL’s room/apartment.  The whole thing needs to be gutted and redone, but it is cheaper than adding a second floor (which also needs to be done, but not in the immediate future). The room, which used to be a studio apartment,  is big enough for a nice sized master suite (there is a second bathroom in there that we don’t currently use) where we can have the bassinets close by the bed when they are little, and then when they are a bit older, section off part of the room for the cribs until they are old enough to share rooms with the other kids.  The room is at the back of the house, where the other bedrooms are at the front, and I really think it will work out well when we are dealing with screaming middle of the night babies.  I’m pretty excited about it.  We just need to get it moving. Unfortunately Eddie gets a bad deal here because he will be moving in to our much smaller room–the former nursery that still has Winnie the Pooh prints all over the walls–but the room connects to our attic and we think we can open up that space for him a little bit.

I’m excited to see how it all turns out.

Answering my own questions; other stuff

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I asked some questions on Saturday and now it’s my turn to answer them.  I love questions and answers.  It’s fun!

 

  1. What is your least favorite chore, and please tell me why. It used to be laundry for me, but since the kids sort, fold and put away all of their own laundry now (plus towels!), it isn’t so bad.  I think maybe litter duty would rank pretty high up there, but Ed is taking that one on these days because it’s hard for me to bend and scoop.  My least favorite chore at the moment is general upkeep in the kitchen.  I hate wiping down the counters, cupboards, fridge and stove.  It always seems to get a way from me until it’s gross. (Ok, not the counters..those get wiped all the time as I’m using them) But man, what I would pay a cleaning lady to wipe the grime off of my white cupboards.
  2. What is your favorite throw together quick meal? Probably tacos.  Ed and the kids like their tacos with just the seasoned meat, cheese and sauce.  It’s super quick and easy. (And concerning because our family of 5 easily goes through 3 or so pounds of taco meat.)
  3. Are you watching any new TV? What should I be watching? As far as new TV goes, we’ve picked up The Neighbors and Ben and Kate.  Both fun sitcoms.  Ed is watching Vegas and Last Resort, but I can’t get in to either.
  4. What is your favorite vegetable? I generally like most vegetables, except for peas who can die in a fire, but as o late, I’ve been eating carrots that have either been cooked to death in the crockpot with whatever meat we are having or have been boiled in beef broth.  Any green veggie roasted is a super winner too.

We spent our weekend cleaning and purging, and cripes, I did way too much.  But the basement is nearly clean, and Ed got the garage mostly cleaned out so he can get his trailer in and out for the winter.  It feels good to be accomplished, but I wasn’t really a fan of all the work.

We have more on tap for this week–a friend brought me 5 totes of baby clothes, and I found 3 random boxes as well, so they need to be gone through so I can figure out what we need in the way of clothes.  I’ve also got a bunch to be listed on eBay this week with the plan being for the extra money to be allocated toward cloth diapers. I still sort of can’t believe we are doing that (and neither can Ed), BUT really, I cannot justify the expense of diapering 2 babies when we can do the one time cost thing.

I said to Ed over the weekend that my ultimate goal would be to still be able to walk when it’s time to go cut down the Christmas tree.  He looked at me like I was nuts and explained that that is in like 3 weeks.  3 weeks! Christmas tree!  Whaaaat? I think we’ll have to go light on the decor though, because who knows if I’ll be able to put it all away.

With Christmas seeming so close, it really seems like the babies will be here soon! Babies! In my house! Will the novelty ever wear off? I don’t think it will.

More about Baby Names, and please help me

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At this point in all of my other pregnancies, my baby was named.  Maybe with some questions about the middle name, but always named.  I’m not entirely sure what the problem is this time around, especially because I am a preparer by nature.  I think of these babies though, and what their names are, and my mind goes blank and I go in to a mild panic.  I just have no idea! Maybe because this is my last shot at naming babies I am putting too much pressure on myself.  I sort of want their names to be perfect.  Ed is not being helpful, ever since the great Melissa debate.  He says that my dislike of the name, even though I did agree and allowed for Millie as a nickname, has ruined it for him.  He wants me to come up with names, and then he will agree or disagree.  I want an active 2-sided discussion.  None of this is happening.

So this leaves me making lists both in my head and on paper, and crossing things off, both mentally and for real, and mostly feeling like we will never ever name these babies.

Ever.

I’ve been calling them Thurston and Reba since Tuesday.  Just for fun, in a “we would NOT EVER call our kids this” kind of way.  I have to call them something other than Baby Girl and Baby Boy.

I guess now is the time for a list.

Here are names that I/we like that cannot be used:

  • Olivia -issue with our last name
  • Abby/Abigail- bad association from a good 12 years ago, and  our good friends’ daughter’s name.
  • Genevieve- Ed hates it
  • Vivienne- Ed hates it
  • Eleanor-was my grandmother’s name and she and Ed had a…stormy relationship.  Also my cousin has a baby Eleanor.
  • Henry- we just aren’t feeling it anymore.  It doesn’t lend itself to shortening/nicknaming which I am fond of (and NO to Hank)
  • Benjamin- Bad association from high school, sounds weird with our last name.
  • Samuel- Niece who spends a lot of time here, is Samantha who goes by Sam/Sami

Here are the names I have been kicking around as of late in no particular order:

GIRLS:

  • Elizabeth
  • Molly
  • Ruby
  • Leah
  • Lauren
  • Lily
  • Lyla
  • Julia
  • Jane

BOYS:

  • William
  • Andrew
  • Carter

So, yeah.  Maybe I should copy this whole post and email it to Swistle to dissect. Or maybe I should really just name them Thurston and Reba.  They would be fairly unique for sure!

Or maybe you all should just name my babies!

Yes, I vote for that option.

And we are having…babies!

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The big baby reveal was yesterday, and I swear, I didn’t think I was going to make it through the night because I was just so excited about it! Knowing just makes things so much different, almost like it’s more real.  For me, anyway, once we know the sex I feel like I start to identify with my babies as people rather than just some alien beings residing inside of my body.

I wasn’t a fan of our ultrasound tech.  She wasn’t nasty, per se, but she had no personality.  When she did speak, it was quiet and monotone.  She kept telling me that these babies sure were sideways, and I didn’t know if she was complaining or making a joke because there was no inflection to her speech. She was thorough and efficient though as she briskly stated “Baby A is a little girl.” and then 15 minutes later “And Baby B is a boy.” At one point she had me lying on my side for a better look at B, and she spent a crazy amount of time looking at his heart to the point where I was starting to panic. She said nothing to worry about though, and when the doctor came in to review, he confirmed the sexes and that everyone and everything looks perfectly normal.  Ed liked him quite a bit, but I was disappointed it wasn’t my favorite old OB.  She was the one to reveal the sexes of the other 3, so I thought it would be fun if she was there.  Grand scheme though, no big.

The doctor asked me whether twins run in my family…so that was nice. (eyeroll) He shared some things we already knew–that twins come on average 4-5 weeks early.  I shared my theory that we might be ok since the other babies were so large that things were nice and roomy for the twins to grow.  He said I may very well have some 7lb twins, but to really not count on my theory because that has not been his experience.

This of course has Ed freaking out about potential February babies.

But anyway! One of each!! It is so exciting! Boy Baby is a little bit bigger than his sister already.  They are kind of lying perpendicular to each other.  It is sort of odd.  We go back for another growth scan in 5 weeks.

I really enjoyed seeing shots of their profiles.  Maybe all babies look the same in utero, I don’t know.  All of my babies distinctly show Ed’s lips and my nose though.  Baby B, the boy baby on the top…already looks just like Eddie in there.  It’s uncanny.  We didn’t get a great shot of Baby A, because she NEVER stops moving.  I can see it though.

So now, we need to start thinking about names–Ed and I both decided we feel like going back to square 1.  And other things like where they are going to sleep.  And shopping!! I can’t wait to start shopping!

I really am just so excited. Another boy! Another girl! I will have 2 boys and 3 girls! Can you even believe it?